Well, it's been a year!

I haven't posted on here in a year. Mostly it's because life got crazy, politics got crazy, my schedule got crazy, my church changed hands, twice in about 2 1/2 years, one son got married and moved out, my mother and brother moved in, I became a minimalist, I'm back in college again full time studying for a psychology degree, and I've changed - a lot.

I'm still a strong Christian, hopefully doing better than I was a year ago, or else what's the point? Right? I've done studies with my ladies' small group about being Content, and being Encouraging. I've studied with a whole new group of ladies in another bible study, attending a new church in our same old building. I've recently worked through Beth Moore's new study The Quest. It's typical Beth Moore with lots of deep scriptures and pages of homework every week, but it's also very different in that it's not really topical, nor is it on any particular book of the bible. It's about developing an intimacy with Jesus, deeper and more honest than ever before. It's a six week study so I did it on my college winter break while my small group and bible study group were off.

So what does "the new me" have to say on faith? Don't give up. So many times we aim high and end up not following through. Then the guilt makes us want to quit. I'm here to say that anyone, after any amount of time, at any age, can become a better Christ follower than they thought. Here's a few things I do now that are different:

1.  I make time for Bible Reading almost every day. I don't get to it every single day, total transparency and honesty here, but I don't just let it go day after day either. If you don't intentionally MAKE time, it won't happen. It has to be something you plan, like an appointment in your calendar, like the top thing on your prioritized daily to-do list. If you don't, life will keep you away from the Word and you'll feel "stuck" where you're at. It's so worth it to do this one thing, even if you do nothing else.

2.  Get around like minded people. Join a mens/ladies/singles/couples/retirees/young moms/ group or just a small group. Whatever fills the need you have in this season of your life. You don't have to join them all, just one (more when you're ready). If you can find a group that understands you may not make it 100% of the time and is okay with that, that's even better. Too much pressure keeps many people from joining a group from what they tell me.

3.  Talk to God. I don't mean you shouldn't have actual prayer time on a regular basis, but you should just simply talk to God throughout the day. When you're frustrated, when something good happens, when you're worried or afraid, when you have great news, when you need help, when you need support, when you feel so thankful and grateful for someone or something...in all things...talk to God. You won't surprise him, he always hears you when you call, and he can bring peace, rest, joy, and love into your situation a lot more than if you post your feelings on Facebook.

4.  I start each day now, still lying in bed, saying something along these lines:  Lord, thank you for granting me another day. This is the day you have made, so you know what I should be doing, what needs doing, what I can let go of because it's a waste of time anyway, and how I should order my day. Before I take one step out of this bed, I ask you who is in control of all time anyway, please order my day. I want to go through today knowing every single thing that happens has passed by you and been approved by you ahead of time. This way, good or bad, I know you're still in control and aware of the situation, making all things work towards good eventually. Use me to bring you glory wherever you see fit. Keep me out of things you know are not what you want for my life. I release any false illusion that I can control time, save time, or call it "my time". It belongs to you and I surrender this day to you. Thank you." - If you can start your day, or your week, or your month this way, it can make all the difference in the world.

5.  Be content, thankful, grateful, and appreciative of all you are, all you have, all you can do, and of those around you.

May tomorrow be a whole new wonderful day for you.

What Does "Church" Mean to You?

     When you ask most people what comes to mind when they hear the word church, you get quite a few answers. Some think of an architecturally beautiful building made of stone, some say a safe place, many think of a second family (especially if you've moved away from your true family), some think of pot lucks, ladies with hats and flowered dresses, and men with ties. Some who didn't grow up in a culture of faith think of nothing but a building they pass by, or a building where people waste time on things they consider invisible or make-believe. Unfortunately, some also think of a place where they don't feel they belong. Maybe they've been hurt by people within the church. Maybe they felt judged for where they were at when they tried it. Maybe they walked in and everyone there was very different from what they considered familiar. Either way, it's time to make a difference and help people understand what "the church" is meant to mean.

     Church is a group of people, not a building. You can "have church" or "do church" in a building, in a field, in someone's home, so it's not just a building. But what defines this group as a church? I will be writing from my own experience and perspective, which is the Christian church, according to the Bible. I understand many other churches exist and I'm not saying they have no right to believe different from me. I'm just writing from the only place I know - my own life.

     The early church was founded after Jesus came to teach about heaven and God, and the apostles began to preach the gospel - how ALL can be saved by confessing their sins and trusting that Jesus paid the price for our sins (the wages of sin are death) with His death. We are deeply and unconditionally loved by God and He made a way for us to be with Him throughout all eternity. The first church was simply called, "The Way".  They followed the teachings of Christ, and then the apostles, and what they did back then literally changed the world around them.

     In Acts 2 we read how the church (the people) devoted themselves to the teachings, eating together, praying together, they were of one mind, with the same focus, sold what they had to give to those in need, and they attended services at the Temple together. Imagine what that looked like to the world and culture around them. They weren't fighting amongst themselves. They weren't judgmental. They didn't strive for power, control, or authority of each other. They didn't amass wealth for themselves. They weren't filled with arrogance and pride. The first part of Acts 4:34 says, "There was not a needy person among them". Imagine how that got people's attention! A group with nothing material to speak of but they cared for each other in a way that NOT ONE needs person was among them! Would that get people's attention today? I bet it would. Even Jesus said that the world would recognize who His followers were by the way they loved one another. This made a real, concrete, difference to their culture. What better way to draw people in? Not by guilt. Not by manipulation. Not by pestering. Only by showing what's possible doing things God's way.  The church made all the difference.

     Forward a few thousand years and what has become of the church(es), especially in America? We have many, many denominations - even among those who all say they are Christ following believers. I'm not even talking about non-Christian churches. We have people who judge others, who think if you don't act like they do (publicly, not necessarily behind closed doors) than you should be shunned, others who decide to make church all about "the show" with very little actual teaching and substance for fear of offending new-comers. Jesus never called us to have divisions by religions, ethnicity, musical preferences, economic levels, or political preferences. Jesus taught us to love one another, where we're at (and by the way, that also means to accept others where THEY are at). Jesus wanted to creat a church who's body of believers were Jewish, Gentile, men, women, children, of many backgrounds, landowners, the poverty stricken, the diseased, the healed, TOGETHER. We need to get back to that original message taught by Jesus and the Apostles.

     What will you do in 2017 to help your church become "the church" in such a positive way that it attracts others to God? to learn to trust Jesus? To find a new "family" with common interests like reaching the world? or to help those in need? How will you create an environment for those seeking answers to feel welcomed where they're at? How will you prevent others from turning away because they were meant to feel they didn't belong? It's time we stop being Consumers, thinking only about what's in it for ourselves - and start becoming Producers, thinking how to include others from all walks of life.  It's time to invite others into a relationship with Jesus where they feel loved, where they can learn from the Bible's teachings, share a meal with fellow believers, pray together, attend services and groups and studies with others focused on becoming more like Christ, and helping those in need. Only then will be truly be "the church" as Jesus commanded us to be.

     Make this your year to really make a difference in the world around you. Happy New Year!

Going Deeper

     Have you ever watched the movie City Slickers? The plot is about a man going through a mid-life crisis who hates his job, wonders what his life amounts to, and goes off to "find himself" with a few friends doing a cattle drive (even though he's a city guy). The movie is far from a Christian film, and honestly, it's been too long since watching it to know if I should recommend it or not, but the lesson he learns and his statement to his wife at the end is the point of today's post. At the end, he learns from a trail boss Curly that the secret to life is to find one thing that becomes your purpose - just one. It should be something you're made to do, something you can excel at, something important to you, and something to focus on. The line when he gets back and greets his wife is where I'm at right now regarding my spiritual life (bible studying/reading the word/Women's Ministry/leading my small group, praying, and living my life as an example to others to draw them closer to God).  She expects him to say he's going to look for a new job but instead he says, "I'm not going to get a new job, I'm just going to do my job BETTER." That's how I feel. I don't need to reinvent myself, or change my world turning it all upside-down doing new things, or following some 10 step to-do list.  I just need to do a better job at what I've already been purposed to do.

     I have known for a long time, about 20 years, that I wanted to lead in women's ministry. I also knew I had, and still have, a lot to learn before I'm ready for that. Actually, I hope I never stop learning how to serve women better. I found a planner from around 1995. In it, I wrote that one day I wanted to lead in women's ministries. Here's the funny part:  at the time, I had NEVER been to a bible study, NEVER been involved in a small group of any kind, and barely knew what was in the bible. I'd only been a Christian for about 16 years, but most of that was busy with working, getting married, moving to AZ & back to NH, raising my sister and our first child, and helping my in-laws with their business. I don't even know where that would've come from - well, obviously from
God, but why would I even THINK that was something I could do? Crazy, right?!

     Now I've taught women's bible studies, written bible studies & devotionals & online-published articles for women, headed up small groups, raised 3 kids in the faith, and donated a carload of stuff on a yearly basis to a women's shelter run by a Catholic group in our area. That's not to say I've done "all these wonderful things". Quite the opposite. It's to say that even though I've had no idea what I'm doing, God has been able to work through me, in spite of my flaws, to reach other women for His glory -  and that's a miracle in itself!

     In this next phase of my life, it's becoming clear that I am to actively pursue a much deeper relationship with God, with Jesus, with other women, calling on the Holy Spirit's help, to reach many more women than ever before. I don't know how many - could be dozens, or hundreds, or eventually thousands. I don't care how many it is, I just have a renewed, burning desire to help women wherever they're at, meet their needs, and help them. I don't care if they're Christ, Christians who've gotten on track, non-believers, Athiests, or Jewish women who have never encountered the real Jesus. I just want to encourage and love on them. I truly believe this is my purpose. It's what I was created for. It's all I want to do. And I can't wait til God's ready to get started.

     Hope you find your purpose by going deeper with God in your own life. May He answer your questions, bring others along side you to guide you, and fill you with His spirit to achieve greater and bigger things. Have a great week.

God answers us through his word

     For about 3 weeks I was struggling with a huge internal problem regarding my son, Logan. He has always been a hero seeking for someone to save. He's always had a heart for people that was deeper than most people, especially for an almost 20 year old. Three weeks ago or so he decided to act on it. 

     Logan had been approached a while back by a Marines recruiter. He had told us he was thinking about it in the spring, but he agreed to wait and give it more time. This fall, he really got prepared to take that step and become a Marine. No other branch considered. End of story. He called me while I was in a department store and basically said I had an hour to meet with the recruiter before he signed. Imagine how my heart sank! We've always been a patriotic family that supports the military, but now we're talking about MY son. I know when people say we should send in troops, those people are someone's children and my heart breaks for them. I understood how important this decision would be and asked him to wait just long enough to tell his father in person when he returned in 2 1/2 weeks rather than after the fact. Logan, being a mature, loving son, agreed.

     In those weeks I agonized over all the what-ifs, what they would do to him, what it would do to his faith, how he'd handle having to perform tasks that were against his personal beliefs, and what he'd be like afterwards - what would happen to that perfect heart that God have given him? I didn't want to say anything to anyone that might accidentally say something on social media. That would not be a good way for Tim to find out. I was determined to go through it alone until his return out of respect for Tim. Also, if we told everyone, that would make it that much harder for Logan to change his mind (social pressure) if he realized it was a mistake to sign up.

     I spent weeks crying, not sleeping, terrified. I didn't play "the Mom card" and smother him or his decision. I refused to use any type of manipulation. Because we have a great relationship, Logain and I were able to keep an on-going, open, honest, fair conversation on the topic the whole time. That certainly helped. As his Mom, I was afraid for him and what would might happen to him. As his friend, I wanted to be supportive in such a patriotic, selfless endeavor to protect our country. I thought of little else, night and day, every day, the whole time. I told just 2 other people so they could pray me through this and give me advice. 

     During this time, I prayed like crazy, but not how you'd expect. I wasn't praying for him to simply change his mind. That would be a temporary situation until the next time he got that feeling again to join. Instead, I prayed that God would give me a clear head and a sense of peace as I work through this with Him and Logan. I know God created Logan for a purpose. I know there are many paths to choose (free will and all that), but only ONE path that is THE purpose God created specifically for Logan - wired Logan exactly for that purpose - we just didn't know if this was it or not. I prayed that if it was the right path God had already chosen before Logan was ever born, then give me total peace and rest and even some joy in this. Help me to be and do what he needs from me. But if this path is NOT of God's plan, then put up serious roadblocks, close doors, and stop him in his tracks before it's too late.

     Logan too prayed for guidance/direction, but of course, he had a biased opinion - still he was willing to listen. Logan and I disagreed about many dreams, signs, apparent roadblocks, but nothing was absolutely definitive. How much was us? How much was our interpretation of things? How much was the enemy? How much was God? Then Tim came home...

     When we told him, he took it harder than we expected, especially since he's always been so PRO military. Like me, perspective had changed because now it wasn't just "the troops" it was our son. He went through the normal emotions:  scared, worried, felt out of control, felt he needed to do something to stop him from making a huge mistake, got angry, but all in one weekend. I felt so bad for having him go through this. And of course, Logan had to deal with not only his own emotions, and trying not to worry/hurt me, but now how to handle this with his father. 

     Tim left to go back out on the road, Logan seemed to have made up his mind, I was feeling peace yet still feeling like this wasn't the right path, so it was quiet for a few day...then God.

     I had seen the movie War Room recently, it's about prayer and its power. If you haven't seen it, you must. It was overtly a Christian movie on prayer yet topped the box office the first TWO weekends it opened nationwide. When does that ever happen?! Anyway, I'd told Logan about it, so when it eventually got to the discount theater a few months later, he wanted to go see it with me. We went Thanksgiving Eve. That's significant.

     We returned and Logan asked me if I'd pray with him over his decision.  I told him I would, but only if he was prepared to really accept whatever the results would be - all the time knowing this was my final, definitive stand on the issue too - if God said Yes, I must surrender to that. I secretly hoped God would stop Logan instead, though. 

     We prayed together for God to reveal if this decision was from Logan or God, God's plans, joining the military which we know is not a Christian organization, direction, and would it bring honor. Logan completely surrendered his will to whatever the Lord would choose to reveal and not question a definite answer.  Then we opened the bible together randomly - yes randomly - without our own bias. He opened to a passage and I read it. It was about giving thanks to God before any requests are made. Remember this was Thanksgiving eve? Then I opened to a passage and Logan read it. The bible's subtitle said, "A prayer of Thanksgiving". Again, it seemed to be saying this was a perfectly timed passage, again it was on how God knows all, created all, and has given everyone and everything a purpose. That's why we came before him this night, after all. It was the 3rd and final passage that REALLY blew us away! I'm glad I wasn't the one to choose it! 

     Logan randomly opened to Isaiah 30. Verses 1 - 3 say this:

Do Not Go Down to Egypt

"Ah, stubborn children," declares the Lord, "who carry out a plan, but not mine, 

who make an alliance, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin:

who set out to go down to Egypt without asking for my direction,

to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt!

Therefore shall the protection of Pharaoh turn to your shame,

and the shelter in the shadow of Egypt to your humiliation..."

How's THAT for specific, exact answer to questions we answered?! As soon as Logan read the words "stubborn children" he stopped, looked at me, and said he knew, felt it, that God was speaking directly to him in that moment. It says the alliance (signing/joining) is not of God's spirit, there would be sin added to sin, setting out w/o asking direction, taking refuge in a non-Godly ruler and nation (like the Marines/military), it will bring shame & humiliation...it couldn't have been clearer! 

     Logan in that moment knew this was not God's path for his life. He was a little disappointed, but said if it was the right thing, it would be a bigger deal to change his mind. He was almost surprised how easy it was to turn down the military to find a new path. 

     Praise God that He is still a loving God, a good Father, and has given us His Word to help us with the biggest, most important decisions of our lives. Thank God for who He is. Needless to say, we had a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. 

     Believe God wants to help you. Listen for his answers. Come to Him with a heart and mind totally surrendered to whatever He decides. It can happen for you too.

God Prepares Me

     I'm so thankful that God prepares me ahead of time to face things. Sometimes I have a series of dreams about an event that's going to happen. Sometimes it's more symbolic, for example, when something that will change my life, I dream about tornadoes. Whether they're off in the distance, or right outside the building, or crashing through the building, warns me of how close-to-home they'll get. It never fails, and I end up preparing, knowing it's coming.

     I'm also thankful that God prepares me ahead of time by using the bible study I'm in, the church's Sunday morning messages, and what books I happen to be reading. When I see something converge in all three, I sit up and take notice. 

     In this particular case, we're buying a house. It's a good thing, for sure, and I believe God helped us find it on that day, for that price, in that neighborhood, because none of those "should have" happened like they did. Also it fits the exact description I wrote down years ago of the best house for us, right down to the craft room (without losing a bedroom), the fireplace (in Arizona), and an orange tree in the back yard. 

     I'm happy about the house but the process of buying it has been really tough. Tim's away the whole time. Here's some of the stumbling blocks we've encountered yet God found a way to help me move forward:

Tim left on the day we went under contract, and I've needed his signature, which I cannot copy to save my life. 

The seller's weren't budging on giving in on closing costs and we couldn't do it otherwise.

The paperwork! I've had literally hundreds of pieces of paper, emails, documents to print, sign,  and copy, scan, and fax back. Most of the forms I've never seen before, and many are such a pointless waste of time (sign to say you saw this, then the next paper says sign to say you saw and signed the previous page, or some such nonsense).

I had to take a required, online class that took 8 hours of my time and taught me absolutely nothing new - and I had to pay $150 for it!

Reliving the nightmare. One of the tasks required by the underwriter was to write a letter, in detail, reliving everything about our bankruptcy. How it happened, why it happened, how we handled it, etc. I had spend years putting the nightmare of losing my home, leaving our jobs, and having to take government food assistance to feed my kids for a year. I'm thankful that Tim's parents were willing to take us in when we had nowhere to go (although I would've kept the house and just done the bankruptcy if it were up to me), but it caused some things to happen inside all of us that changed us. We definitely aren't who we used to be.

After telling us we're approved, paperwork is done, we're ready to close next week, nothing else is needed, it was noticed that Tim's start date at his job 3 years ago had mistakenly been entered as May instead of March. That tiny difference meant they divided our yearly income from then by 2 more months, and with a week to go, the underwriter kicked the whole thing apart. They said we didn't qualify anymore, we lost the ability for the program that paid our down payment, and we couldn't close. No delay date to expect. Just "don't qualify". 

Two days before this news, my middle son who just turned 19 informs me he's going to meet with a Marine recruiter to ask questions. Totally out of the blue. As he's planning to follow his girlfriend out of state if he has to depending where she goes to college. Right after he waffled for weeks about if he was moving in with us or not (requiring us to buy a 4 bedroom instead of a cheaper 3 bedroom). What a tough thing for a mother to deal with in the middle of all this.

The sellers may not agree to an extension without a definite closing date, and I'm afraid we'd have to start all over again, knowing they'd ask for a much higher price or not agree to closing costs next time, knowing how badly we now want this house.

Just a reminder, Tim left on January 27th and hasn't been back since, so all this I'm handling alone.

     

     All that is stressful, causing me to lose lots of sleep, but there's a good side to this too...

     God has been preparing me. I'm in a series at church that's breaking down Philippians 4:8:  Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

     I have been in church for 25 years or more at this point. I don't remember ever having the message stick all week in my mind like this series has. Our pastor is breaking it down, part by part, to really go into what each of these 8 things mean. It's helped me get through so much of this because it's teaching me to think about what's true, not just happening temporarily. I'm learning to be even less reactionary about things that pop up. I do well with this but that doesn't mean I have spikes in stress when I first hear about them. At least I'm learning that they can be a short 1 - 5 minute burst, then I'm calm again, instead of letting it ruin so much more. I can focus on doing all I can to be fair, true, and just. I'm also learning to live according to all I'm called upon to do knowing I'm living out my purpose. I know many women may handle this better than me, but there's a lot that would handle it worse too - or not at all. I've been brought through experiences that have taught me how to rise to the occasion as it becomes necessary. For that I am thankful.

     In my bible study, we're studying the book of James. It would be so easy to sink into the self-pity of all this. I'm sure if I tried, I could (wrongly) blame Tim for not being here, even though he's gone trying to make us the money we need to do this. I could blame the Mortgage Company's assistant for thinking changing the start date would help when instead it killed our whole deal (for now), but I would know there was untrue information and I couldn't live with a lie. If we have to lie to get approved, we shouldn't be buying it. In the end, we're going to use 2014 and 2013 instead of '13 and '12, and we'll eventually get re-approved because our income will have doubled since 3 years ago and we still have no debt. I could blame the underwriter who knows what this year's paystubs looked like and amounted to, knows we qualify, yet is doing this to us a week before closing, but what good does that do? In the end, maybe we'll qualify for a slightly lower interest rate when they see we made double what they say barely fell below the qualification line? Maybe since the interest rate just went up as we were going into this process in January, it will drop a bit and our payment will be lower every month from now on? I'm being told they've never seen it rise twice in a row. So the James study is teaching me not to blame others, not to become cynical, not to judge other people for what they're doing - just act in a way that I'm called to act because of my faith, loving others and trusting God.

     I've also been reading about everything from miracles to answered prayers. I know from my own experiences that God can choose to show up at any moment and smooth the way for us. Do I think He caused the bad stuff? Of course not! People with bad intentions have lied, deceived, and stolen from each other in closings over the years so more and more paperwork had to be build into the process to attempt to stop it from happening whenever possible. 

     So today, I let go of all the bad things that have happened up to this point, I'll work on the things that need to happen, our closing will be delayed but hopefully not for too long. Tim will be home just for a day and a half to help make it happen (then he's back out until the actual closing since he can't just stay home for a week waiting for the agencies to decide). I will trust God like I always do. I will not let it frustrate me every day between now and the new closing date. I will take today off as a "mental health day" and just get outside, go for a walk, pray a lot, and be at peace while I wait for everything to fall back into place, and for Tim to get home in a few days. 

When you don't know where else to turn, turn to God. And remember Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Silently processing.

I just realized how long it's been since I've blogged here. Maybe it's because I've been sleeping through the night finally for the first time in my life, and I used to blog when I was up at 2 AM? Anyway, the past 3 months, I guess I've just been silently processing. What I mean is that I've been taking in information, processing it all to figure out what's important to me and what I can let go of to reduce stress. I've sorted through the "should do"s and the "have to"s. I've stepped back to compare my words and actions to those I look up to spiritually to see where I need to improve - I mean this in a very positive growth sort of way, not comparing in a prideful nor a self-condemning way. What I found is that I'm tired of the useless things that we all do thinking we're spreading our faith. Take Facebook for example. We see those messages that say things like, "Share if you love Jesus, Ignore if you hate him." Really? Jesus stopped looking at our heart and instead judges our love for him based on how many memes we forward? I don't think so. What about the ones that say, "Share this on your wall and God will grant you a miracle in the next half hour." Again, really?! Now God's our genie waiting for our commands if we only forward a message on social media? What about the arguments that take place all over the internet, both on Facebook and in the comments section of articles online? How does the name-calling help? Or the bickering over minor details? All this is futile; a huge waste of time and energy. I rarely do these things, but they're so prevalent they were worth bringing up here. Another issue I've observed is the media suppressing the truth, the love and good Christians do, and belittling (if not judging and condemning) everything Christians say and do. This isn't a new revelation, but again, I've been really thinking on this and wondering what I alone can do about it. Maybe it's the whole Duck Dynasty/A & E controversy that really brought it to a head. Over 1.3 million people in our country chose to make an effort to let their voices be heard as they stand with Phil Robertson, and they did it in just 24 hours! They shouted that he has the right to his own personal opinion. He wasn't on television in front of millions when he said it, he was in a private interview with a man talking in the form of a conversation, off-camera, answering a loaded question truthfully. Had he answered it politically correct, he would've been slammed in the media saying he doesn't really live out the beliefs he claims he has. The often silenced Christians were a united front for the first time in a long time. No arguing over minor differences between their labels on their church sign - just standing together on common ground. I also recognize that there were many who may be on opposite sides of political arguments, and those without a faith of their own, that also took a stand with Phil. They see the media and government taking away our personal freedoms, and trying to dictate what we can and can't say, how we are allowed to believe, and they too put aside other differences to be heard as they stood united with us for freedom of speech and personal choices. I guess the end result of my months of silently processing has come to this. Choose the battles wisely. Stop the arguing. Find the common ground and go from there. Treat others with love and respect, even if they're different, so that you'll then (if you're a Christian) have a better chance of developing a dialogue to share the good news of Jesus Christ with people. One of the nicest things I've heard people say to me, as well as the thing that makes me happy with myself, is when someone who may be Atheist, Agnostic, Democrat, or belongs to some other group I'm not a part of says, "Wow. I've never had a conversation like this with a Christian/Republican. You weren't arguing with me. You listened to me. You didn't change your point of view, but you showed mine respect and you seem to genuinely care. You weren't judgmental, and I've never been able to have a conversation like this before. Thank you." That's how we make a difference. I also see value in writing to the powers-that-be that can help us be heard in government and the media, but loving and respecting people, finding common ground first, one person at a time. That's how I, just one person, can make a difference.

I Want to Be Like Caleb

My favorite character in the bible (next to Jesus, of course) is Caleb. That might sound strang since we know almost nothing about him. He's mentioned in Joshua 13 and 14, Deuteronomy 1, Numbers 13, 14, 26, 32, and 34. We know he was the son of Jephunneh the Kenazite, he was one of the 12 spies Joshua sent to spy out the promised land, he was 40 when he did that, he was from the tribe of Judah, and he had three sons. The one thing he's best known for is his trust in God. When God told the Israelites to spy out the promised land He was giving to them, they sent out 12 spies. Two were Joshua and Caleb, and there were 10 others. Ten came back reporting the fears and problems, claiming to have seen giants in the land, and they described the hardships to taking over. Maybe they expected to just walk right in because they thought the land was an easy gift, one without anything required from themselves. Only Joshua and Caleb returned and reported that it was flowing with milk and honey, it was going to be good land, and once God gave them victory over the people there, it wood be wonderful. Ten saw the giants and were afraid. They let fear stop them from seeing all God had in store for them. Two trusted God, believed it was already handed over to them, and were willing to go to war to take it from those people that were already in it. Caleb (and Joshua) understood they would have to go to war for it, there had to be a struggle, a fight, to take what was given to them by God. Their response? "Let's go take it at once!" The bible goes on to say that because of the fear of the people, no one would be able to enter the promised land except for Joshua and Caleb. For 40 years, the Israelites were not allowed to enter it. Only at the age of 80 was Caleb allowed to enter the land promised so long ago. The generation of doubters who feared instead of trusted had to die off. Only their offspring would be entering the new land. Back to today...we all have certain fears or things we have to face. In our modern society, it may be entering or committing to a relationship, entering a new job, going back to school, managing risks to venture out and start a company, invest in something you hope will be there in your later years, let go of your now grown child as they venture out on their own, cut off ties that are toxic to your mental health, bravely walk away from bad habits or addictions, the list is endless. What we do with that fear determines if we're more like Caleb, or more like the other ten spies. Which one are you? Which one am I? To be more like Caleb, there's a few things that must take place. The first is obedience to God. You have to trust Him and believe that He has given you the victory when you're doing everything you can to live for Him. God is very good at letting us know when we're on the right or wrong path - it's up to us to listen to Him, to be alert for signs God gives us, and to pray for His discernment. Once we know we're on the right path, and we know that God will bless what we're trying to do, then it's time to be like Caleb and trust Him for the victory. It's about acting, doing something, whether it's without fear or in spite of it, but you must use action to overcome this fear. I have found over the years the faster we jump in with both feet, the easier it is to get through the battle. Don't give yourself time to mull over the obstacles, to worry about what might happen. Act before you have time to think about it. When God's already given you direction, MOVE on it. The next thing that we can do to be like Caleb is to be honest about the problems. We know we'll face obstacles. We know it won't be easy. Knowing what the problems will be, and planning a strategy to overcome them is not the same as not trusting God. It's simply being prepared for what you will be facing. Know what to expect, create a plan of attack, then move on it...quickly. The last thing we can do is to remind our self and focus on what we know to be true. Know that God has a plan to prosper and not harm us. Know that He's always on our side. Know that the victory is ours if we're living out what He's revealed we should do in our life. Don't let the giants get in the way. Don't give in to fear. Don't be surprised that you have to fight the battles to win the prize - they aren't just handed to you. I want to live a more meaningful life, a life more abundant, a life of overcoming fears, not being stopped by them and settling for mediocre. I want all God wants to give me if I'm willing to do the work required to earn it. I want to be like Caleb.