Trusting God

Over the last 6 months or so, I've developed high blood pressure. Not just a little over the goal of 120/80. Not "pre-hypertension". Just full-blown, hypertension. I've had readings over 140/99! I've had lab work done. My cholesterol is perfect, my other numbers are well into the normal range, I have no other issues causing the hypertension except my constant state of stress. My pressure spikes at the drop of a hat lately, and my body can't get it to come down like it's supposed to. The first medication failed, so the doctor doubled the dosage and I felt like IT was going to kill me. I'm on prescription #3 in 60 days and still have unexplained spikes.

You know what I'm learning from it? To let go of things that maybe really were my responsibility before, but I'm trusting God to take care of it now.

I've had to trust God in spite of financial difficulties, trouble raising teenagers, having an already-full schedule but adding a part-time job anyway, stress from problems in the lives of friends and family that I care about, and so much more.

The lines of an old song about God are: You give and take away. Growing up in a house without faith, knowing only what a few years of Catholic training taught me, I thought that meant although God gives blessings, don't complain when you lose something he takes back/away. Now I'm finding a new meaning...Not only does He give blessings, but He's also powerful enough to take away - stress, problems, worry, unnecessary negative feelings, resentment over injustices, and so much more!

I recently read the book The Shack that came out a few years ago. It was a #1 best-seller, if you haven't heard of it. Some people loved it because the fictional story helps the reader understand God and His nature better. Others hated it because they felt it wasn't done in a way true to the Bible. I loved it. It's fiction, it's not supposed to be taken as literally the truth about God's nature from the Bible's evidence. Anyway, it really helped me see God as the loving Father who hurts when we, His children, are suffering. I understood that - logically, but when things weren't going right, I had a habit of thinking, "Ok, so what did I do wrong? Or what am I NOT doing, that God had to let this happen?" What a bad way to live.

I believe now, whole-heartedly, that God is just like us in our own parenting. We hurt when our kids get hurt. Although trusting God doesn't mean I won't have any problems anymore, it does mean that some will go away, some will still come but He'll see me through, and if worst comes to worst and I don't survive something, I'll still be comforted knowing I'll be delivered into His arms for all eternity.

Trust is about me letting go; remembering that this life and all its problems are temporary. It's about trusting that God has a plan, even if I can't see how it'll all work out. He's helping me find new answers - and hopefully this new path will help me lower my blood pressure by finally letting go of the stress of trying to manage it all.