Prayer for the New Year

Dear Heavenly Father, as I look back on this past year, I see so many times where you revealed yourself, protected me and my loved ones, kept your promises, and provided for my needs.
I know you are the Alpha and the Omega, so not only are you the One who Begins a good work in me, but You also are the One who wishes to finish a good work in me. Lord, I pray if I've kept you out of any area of my life, or if my selfish desires have stood in the way of your will, I now give you permission to enter, grow and change all areas of my life, in order for you to complete the good work you started in me.
Father, I pray for patience while waiting for you to answer my prayers and your plans to be revealed. I pray for a more sensitive heart, that I would feel pity, and grace, and forgiveness towards others in the coming year. I also ask for your provision on my household. You are a father who knows how to give good gifts to your children. I thank you that through Jesus' sacrifice, I am now counted among your children. I ask you to provide for my material needs in order that I would not be distracted by them, and can focus on trust and peace in you, instead. I pray that you'd help me to use the gifts, abilities and talents you've given me in the new year for your glory and to lift up the body of believers, as well as reach out to those who maybe haven't learned to follow Christ yet.
Bless the work of my hands, the words of my mouth, and the thoughts I have. May they learn to be under your authority for both my benefit and your glory.
I end this prayer with thanks and praise and worship and honor to you Heavenly Father. Thank you for all you've already done, and for allowing me the opportunity to present my requests to you, and to have the confidence to entrust it all to you in the New Year.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Christmas Miracle Number Two!!!

The same night our "Christmas Angel" came anonymously, my husband also returned home with unbelievable news: two of the older women at his work had already gone out and bought gifts for our family! They didn't do it for everyone, and there's no reason they should've picked us, but they did. I can only guess that God called them to do this and they responded to His nudgings.

They bought our family toys, sports balls, grocery gift cards, cash gift cards, gifts for our home, and even an old-fashioned curved walking stick like pictures of St. Nick's from an earlier era, complete with a red ribbon and jingle bells on it.

I can never say enough how much God provides, and He rewards our efforts, and He cares about our desires - in many cases, He put them there.

So as we enter the New Year, just remember to trust Him for all your needs, trust Him with your family, your provision, your safety, your health and your heart. He loves you like no other!

God Bless You.

A Christmas Angel - Miracles DO still happen!

(Dec.23rd): Just yesterday I was thinking, "how are we going to pay the mortgage, and the kids need clothes, and it's going to be our smallest Christmas ever." But, I'm always the first to stand up in front of a crowd and tell them not to worry about financial hardship - God will provide, somehow.

Money really DOES fall from the sky when God's involved, and others allow Him to speak through them. Here's what happened:

It was about 6:30 pm (give or take) Sunday night. There was a loud knock at our metal screen door. I was sitting right by the door, so I was there to open the door within 2 or 3 seconds. No one was there. I went to turn on our motion-sensitive light, but it wasn't working. I went to open the screen door and noticed there were 2 packages on the ground with our family's name on them, and an envelope. I thought, "how nice, someone thought of us" and I opened the card hoping it was a letter signed by the generous giver. I opened the envelope and in it was $500 in cash and a $500 gift card from Target!!! I couldn't believe it! I ran to the patio to look for a person, or car leaving, or something - but no one was there. It was in less than 60 seconds! I went in the patio door and by the time I got in the house, my husband came home in the front door. I asked him if he saw anyone out there and he said there was no one out there. We won't open the gifts til it's time, but I believe if God blesses you, you give Him all the credit. So I'm doing that with this entry (and we both emailed everyone on our email lists), and if you happen to know who may have had a part in this, please, pass on our thanks, and our love, and our true, true appreciation for such a remarkable and timely gift. We now can pay our mortgage, get the things we need, and our kids will have a great Christmas. We love all of you.

May you be blessed and encouraged by this,

Captivating

A few years ago I went through the book and workbook called Captivating by Stasi (and husband John) Eldridge. It's the "hers" book that compliments Wild at Heart for "him".
I first went through it right after a major heartache - and it definitely shows in my answers in the workbook.

I'd like to think I'm older and wiser now, closer to God than before, more aware of all He created me to be. Still, I find myself re-living the same hurt feelings as I read through the book, but at least now, the feelings seem more distant. Last time, they were raw, exposed.

I think I'm gearing up for another challenge, a positive change, an opportunity to be great by God's power and direction - if He so chooses. I plan on being a good listener, student and willing to follow Him to the ends of the earth, if need be.

I need to be swept up in an adventure. My life has seemed so boring for the last few years. I'm ready for whatever God has planned because it's HIS plan, and according to Jeremiah 29:11, He knows the plans he has for me, not plans to harm me, but plans to prosper me. In His Name I trust.

Blue Like Jazz

I just finished reading a book my dear friend loaned to me. It's called Blue Like Jazz, and it's written by Donald Miller. What a great book! It's about a regular guy, living his life, trying to figure out what Christianity is. He knows it's supposed to be different from "religion", he tries to figure out what God wants from us, what our role is, and who Jesus is.

The book reads quick - even with my busy schedule I was done in just a few days. It's written like diary or journal entries, so no section is too long, great if you only have a few minutes here and there to read.

I "get" what Christianity is, I know I'm saved, I understand what it means to be a Christ-follower, I feel that God the Father is 100% my "Dad", in every way possible. I appreciate His gift of Jesus, I appreciate the sacrifice Jesus made for us, I understand what an atoning sacrifice is, but I still struggle with what type of relationship I'm supposed to have with Jesus. Let me explain:

If God is my father and he says not to pray to anyone but him, why do so many Christians pray to Jesus directly? I feel like it's wrong when I do it. I pray to God, but ask through Jesus, in Jesus' name, not on my own merit or right. I see Jesus as a mentor, and a friend, but I really long for the romance, the falling in love with Jesus that I hear and sing about. I long for the passion of who Jesus is, and how deep his love for me really is, to sink in. I want that heart-stirring emotion.

I live my life very logically, with very little emotion, everything in black & white - so I'd like my Spiritual life to be so much more.

Recipe for Man-made Manna

Hi, this obviously won't be miraculous or probably taste like "the bread of angels", but what a great opportunity to explain to our kids, grandkids, spouses, family or friends about God's provision?

Man-Made Manna Recipe:

225 gr. cake quality matzo flour, sifted
2 tsp. dried coriander leaves
1/2 C boiling water
1 T. sesame oil (plus extra to brush on)
2 T. honey

1. Resift the flour with the coriander. Place mixture in a bowl and make a well in the center. Into this pour 1/2 cup boiling water and the sesame oil. Mix into a dough and knead until smooth and elastic. Divide into 12 portions.

2. Roll first portion into a 10 cm circle and brush with a little sesame oil. Roll out 2nd portion and cover the 1st. Roll both portions out again to make a 15 cm "sandwich". Continue to do this with each portion so you end up with 6 "sandwiches" rolled out.

3. Heat a heavy skillet without oil on medium, and fry the pancake-like sandwiches one at a time, turning once to both sides are cooked. (*Important: keep skillet moving, like making old-fashioned popcorn, so it doesn't stick.)

4. When all are cooked, separate each sandwich back into 12 portions. Spread each pancake with a little bit of honey and fold in half, then half again making a wedge. Serve immediately.

Finding My Purpose

For the last two or three weeks I've been struggling with something. I've known for a long time that I'm supposed to be on "an adventure" of sorts, a quest, a mission, a purpose. Although I know I'm getting closer to that purpose every day, and I know I'm on the right path, I still feel there's something MORE I'm supposed to be doing.

I've also noticed recently that I've become a counselor of sorts to other Christians on their journey. I know my Spiritual Gifts are Encouragement, Teaching, and Discernment, so I know that's kind of how they all come together, but when I made the realization that being a helper for others to stay on the path, or to choose between two seemingly good paths, I got cold feet.

I've been helping friends and family this way for years, but now I see it in a different light. It's no longer just a casual, "Let me tell you what I'd do based on what the Bible says and my experience..." Now I feel the responsibility that I have to be God's voice in the matter. I feel like Moses willing to serve a mighty God, but scared that I'll mess up. All kinds of doubts came to mind: what if I'm wrong? do I really know ALL the bible says on that subject? what if I can't help them? how do I know what's right if I never dealt with that problem before? and so many more!

Then God spoke to me through 2 friends and a dream.

The two friends, at different times, in different circumstances said that we can be used in our weaknesses because that's where he can prove how strong He is. And all will know He can do and speak and help, in SPITE of me and my faults.

I've also been dreaming for 20 years of being back in school. It happens almost every week it seems. I'm always either late for class, or can't find my schedule, or can't remember my locker combination, but I'm so eager to be in class as a student. Sometimes the people there are current friends, sometimes they're from high school, sometimes they're strangers. A few nights ago, the dream changed. I was running late for work because I got out of class late and I said to the 2 or 3 people there, "I can't keep going to school AND work, it's just not working." Then one of the people said, "Why are you still here going to classes? How long ago did you get your diploma and graduate?" In the dream I went to answer that it'd been about 5, no wait, 10, 15? Oh my gosh! it'd been 20 years and I was still hanging around the school halls. The realization hit me IN MY DREAM that it was time to stop trying to hide by being in the the safe role of a student. It was time to enter the bigger world (work) and become the teacher. When I woke up, I immediately knew what it meant. I'd been hiding for years worried I wasn't good enough (must be that Type A, overachiever personality). It's time to step out in faith and trust God to give me the students, the wisdom, the discernment and the encouragement to help His children. I have a new peace about it. Instead of being stressed over the demands on me, I welcome the chance to serve God...and now those precious souls seeking answers are coming to me almost daily for advice. In His Service, I humbly accept my role, and my purpose.

Where does the counselor find counsel?

I spent half my life not caring deeply for hardly anyone. I learned at an early age to just shut off my feelings. That way I couldn't be hurt, or deal with other people's problems. Then Jesus found me and everything changed.

I have been blessed with the most wonderful friends and acquaintances, I would do anything for them. The problem is that when they hurt, I hurt. I prayed for so long for wisdom and discernment, in fact, it's one of my top 3 Spiritual gifts (along with Teaching and Encouragement)...so now I'm an unofficial counselor. I don't mind. People need real answers that have practical application, and I love to share the wonderful things God's done in my life, especially if it helps someone else.

But I think I'm at a point where I need backup, or renewing my mind, or stealing away to be alone with my Father like Jesus did on stressful days of counseling, sharing, listening, teaching and healing.

No, I absolutely do NOT think I'm Jesus-like. In fact, I humbly know just how far from that I really am. I know more of my faults than anyone, but if Jesus is my example, how do I follow Him and do what he did to recharge, rest and recover?

What do I let go of? The homeschooling? Can't do that. The Bible Study? that keeps me sane. The 2 classes my kids have? That's not right, they have people counting on them being there too and I want to teach them to be a good teammate. My son's small group bible study? No, he needs that comeraderie from other teen boys his age and a mentor like the group leader he's got there. So what do I do?

I need to find a way to unplug, even if for just a few hours. I need nature. I need my favorite worship songs. I need my Bible. I need my Father. Hmmm...sounds like a private picnic for two?

Do You Have Any Experience?

When you start a new job, what does your potential boss always ask? "Do you have any experience?" They want to know where you've been, what you've done, what's been accomplished through you, or else, what will you need to learn before you can perform the tasks ahead?

So in our Christian Walk, every day, every week, every month, every year, it's a new journey. Sometimes an adventure, sometimes a battle. And now the same question, "Do you have any experience?"

Has God answered the prayers of you or those you know?

Have you seen His goodness unfold in your life?

Have you seen the proof of what he can create?

Has He changed you from the way you were when you found Him?

Has your relationship with Him and His Son grown?

Do you find yourself with a new best friend who'll never let you down?

Then you probably already have all the experience you need to move forward, allow God to use you and share your faith with someone who needs it. Enjoy the journey.

We're all so uniquely different.

As I've been on my latest journey to improve myself, I'm really paying attention to my friends. I figure, God put them in my life for a reason - so they have lots they can teach to help me become a better person.

Mrs. C is so wonderful at not being judgemental of others. I know I'm a better person because of what I've learned from her.

Mrs. T has really shown me what an every single day walk with the Lord looks like. I've put my trust in God so much more since I met her.

Mrs. S is just so much fun to be with. When others are complaining and dealing out their victim mentality, she's a breath of fresh air. She ignores the daily suffering she has and chooses instead to smile, laugh, take things one day at a time, and enjoy the moment. I need more of that!

Mrs. L is so humble. It's never "about her". She's got a heart for others, a warm smile, and you feel like the two of you are the only ones in the room when she talks to you.

Mrs. M is a warrior for Christ. She's stepped way beyond the boundaries of her comfort zone to bring the good news of Jesus to others around the world. Talking with her is like reading an adventure novel by my favorite author!

Mr. T has taught me about foundational values. His are not compromised, even at his own loss. He's taught me to do what's right above all else.

Mr. J has made me believe that ANYONE can change if they just open the door to God a tiny crack - and now Mr. J. spends his life serving others.

Mrs. J is the best friend anyone could ask for. She's the most amazing listener I've ever met, and her heart is always there to help her friends and family.

Mrs. A is forever there to help those in need, with amazing patience.

Mrs. J (another one) is strong, and smart, and organized, and lets me know that being task-oriented is okay if that's how God designed me to be.

Mrs. P has a special place in my heart with Mrs. R, and for the same reasons. They both live a life dedicated to God and serve as my two spiritual mentors. I run things by them and ask for their insight and they've never steered me wrong yet. I can't imagine my world without them.

Thank you God for the people you've brought into my circle. I'm so blessed by them, and in time, I hope to bless others the way they do for me.

Financial Disaster Ahead?

As I was going through my prayer journal this morning, lifting up family, friends and others in prayer, I noticed something. Many of the people on my list are in a time of financial difficulty. There's been layoffs, jobs eliminated, companies bought out with massive firings, illegal practices making for an unreasonable work environment, unexpected events that drained their accounts, there's so much going on in this area right now.

I turned over all money-related stress and worry to God around 2002. The paycheck is what it is, and it will be enough. If it isn't, then we'll do the best we can til it's better. The hard part is that a budget just isn't possible with a husband on straight commission and it varies HUGELY from week to week...but we're thankful for what we have: a job to go to, freedom for me to stay home and teach and raise our children, a small but affordable place to live, a neighborhood that isn't great, but it's safer than so many others, we have groceries in the house (at least til the two boys go through the kitchen), and a strong marriage based on honesty and trust.

With rising mortgages, rising taxes, foreclosures, bankruptcies, and all the signs of a coming nationwide depression in the near future, it's time to pray for what we need, work for what we can, and be thankful for all we don't have going on in our lives.

Don't forget to pray for your loved ones too! Our consumerism and materialism is about to be attacked until we're humbled as a nation. When the world is in a pit of despair, know that the way out of the pit is by focusing upward on God and His principles for success.

May God keep you safe in His arms.

Ladies, you need to try this!

Last night I had an unexpected call from a friend asking if we could do something together. I was in the mood for something girly, something I love to do, and I'd been looking for a gift for her that week anyway...know what we did?

We went to have "full English tea" at my favorite tea house, I had the kiwi pear green tea, she had the berry mint iced tea. We had a 3-tier tray with tea sandwiches, ginger apricot scones, and assorted dainty desserts. Oh My Gosh!!! What an amazing experience it is. The place is full of pink lacy things, shiny silver danglies, and teas in every flavor you can imagine - even a pineapple guava white tea!

I don't do much for myself very often - and most women don't. We plan little gifts and surprises for our friends and family, but what do we do for ourselves? What do you do? I'm not a bubble bath person, I don't enjoy shopping for new clothes, I'm not a shoe or purse person, I have dozens of perfume that I never wear (almost all were gifts), I don't do much jewelry, I can't do special desserts from a bakery with 3 kids playing Food Police, "what do you have? can we have some?" So what else is there?

Imagine this, a quiet, tasteful, healthy, small-portioned but delicious lunch, accompanied by a ceramic tea pot of exquisite tea picked out by you, on a table with REAL tablecloths, napkins encircled in ribbon, lace doilies, real china plates, a floral centerpiece, gentle lighting, pink, white and soft green walls, girly sale items surround you, and next to you - a dear friend to share it all with. No cell phones - no loud beer drinkers - no take out containers - no lame music overhead. Just wonderful women with good manners all there for a 1 to 2 hour break from the hectic pace of reality.

Is that what heaven will be like? I hope so.

Today was a very good day!

It doesn't take much to make it a good day for me, my needs are simple...I'm very task oriented, so if everything gets done on time, and my kids follow my plan for the day, it's a very good day, but today felt different...
I woke up with a God-worshipping song. I don't know the song, just a few lines, but they repeated over and over in my head and I felt like I was gaining strength with each repetition. Then I got to my bible study without hitting any traffic on the 101 at 8:45! I got there and was greeted by my pastor's wife's big smile. She never seemed to know who I was for 4 years, yet all of a sudden, she says HI to me by name. She asked how study was going and without thinking, I couldn't say enough. The women there are so special, and we just feel and know God's presence is among us and our conversations there. It's a close knit group, even with the many new faces joining us this summer. On the drive home, I felt such a calm peace - in spite of the fact that I schedule myself to be IN study til 11am in N. Scottsdale and IN Chandler teaching Spanish at 11:45am. When I stopped at home to pickup the kids, they had done all their chores and completed the writing assignment I gave them yesterday - and it's not even due til tomorrow! I had a fun Spanish class, window-shopped for a friend (didn't find what I wanted to get her) and drove home from my son's drama class without traffic. My husband gets out of work at 3pm instead of 8 tonight, we didn't expect that but he says he's out early every other Tues. at this new job. We're going to take full advantage of this and go see Pirates of the Carribean 3: At World's End, it's playing down the street at the discount theater - all seats just $2.

After sharing such a dark cloud last time, I just had to share this wonderful day with anyone who's willing to read this blog.

Now it's time to settle down, give God thanks and praise for today, and buckle down to prayer for my friends and family so they get a bright spot like I had today too!

A month of spiritual battles all around us...

It feels like we've had a month of spiritual battles all around us. Not so much in our home, but we see it in our friends, family and acquaintances. Something's brewing and I feel a strong need to prepare for battle on their behalf.
I have seasons of my life where I am a strong prayer warrior for others, and other seasons where I feel I have to just throw my hands up and cry out to God, "the problem's too big! I'm emotionally spent!" Ever feel like that?
In the last month, our circle has seen breast cancer, husbands losing jobs, and therefore causing over-stressed, scared wives without answers, we've seen health issues, addictions choking the life out of a marriage, aging relatives stuggling with deteriorating bodies but their minds are still strong, the enemy coming between spouses with anger and hurt, the media infiltrating our homes and taking over the minds of children and adults everywhere, heartless people rejecting a baby because it's born with defects, gossiping and rumours destroying good people's reputation, greed growing stronger in the business world, selfishness to the detriment of children, spouses and family, the list is never ending...
It's time to put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:10 - 18) and become warriors for Christ, defending our brothers and sisters when they become fatigued in the battle. I can't do this alone, but if we all band together, we can take this ground in the name of Christ, break through all of the enemy's strongholds and unravel his schemes and plans for destruction! All it takes is time in prayer for those we love.

Will you stand with me for our loved ones?

I love my friends!

The best gift we're given in this world, besides salvation, are the friends that are brought into our lives. It's been an amazing 4 years since we've moved 3000 miles away from everyone and everything we've ever known to come here. We've been through so much: losing our life's savings during the drive out here from people's lack of integrity and the stock market, jobs where honesty and character are signs of weakness, having the spawn of satan and her 4 bullying kids move in with the guy next door to us, having our kids beat up regularly for a year out of the jealousy and anger of others', bosses using extortion to rob from their employees (my husband), companies we depend on casting off generations of values for their own greed, not to mention trying to be a positive influence while working 40 hours a week or more as my kids' mother AND teacher, dealing with a husband's depression and self-pity, getting through each day with an auto-immune disease that has no cause and no cure, just lots of symptoms and a name, dealing with an alcoholic husband, finding out my husband's secrets threatened to tear my family apart, have I left anything out?

All that to say this, I love my friends. Practically since we got here, God's surrounded me with the warmest, kindest, most caring and loving friends I could've ever imagined. They have listened when I needed to unload, sat quiet with me when I needed to be still, been supportive when I felt like giving up, cheered me up when I felt lonely, prayed over me when I cried, and have said more with their eyes than I feel I deserve. I feel the spirit of Christ in each and every one of them.

Just last night, we had friends here and you know my favorite part? The time during a game when no one was speaking - and it wasn't awkward, it was comfortable. I had a moment of total joy in the middle of what (to the untrained eye) would've seemed like a regular, everyday occurance to anyone else. I'm so blessed. And I will praise God forever for the friends he's given me.

I'll find our "groove" eventually...

Ok, so here I am, just 4 days into the new schoolyear with my 3 kids and not one day has been like the next! The first day, some classes needed more than the anticipated time I'd planned, some were shorter than expected, some will need to be rearranged so we don't have one kid finished, one almost done, and one needs another half hour. It's very frustrating orchestrating this. And we haven't even added dance class or sports practices yet.

I know if I handle this with just my organization skills, I can find a schedule that works okay, but the joy will be gone, everyone will feel stressed out, and we'll lose the beauty and freedom of homeschooling. So what else can I do?

I'm going to do a few things:

1. First, I'm going to take a deep breath and remember what I learned from reading John Ortberg's book, The Life You've Always Wanted; slow down, don't live a life of "rushing" because it'll put me in the opposite direction from what I really want, which is peace and time to just be with God in little moments throughout my day. To NOT trade best for just good.

2. Second, I'm going to pray. God can organize and orchestrate the entire planet from the beginning of time through the end of time, so He probably could offer me some good advice. I've looked for mentors in my life, and they're hard to come by - so I lean on the advice I get from the Bible, and from God in my quiet time (such that it is).

3. Third, I'm going to ask my kids for their opinions. I want them to have the time they need to put forth their best effort, and not feel bored by time wasted through my imperfect scheduling.

4. Fourth and last, I'm going to take my time on Saturday to really figure out what's important, and remember what I really want each child to gain from each class. I'll arrange things so that a character trait or important lesson or moment of inspiration won't be lost. I'm going to remember that we don't have to have a set schedule. It can be flexible. And if I figure out how to co-ordinate what class to run at the same time as two others so that their ending times are pretty close, we'll find our "groove".

We're about to begin a new school year...

This time of year is exciting for me. We'll be starting school soon. I love using new books, new supplies, a fresh start and hope for a great year. This year I'm teaching 8th, 6th and 4th, with very few classes where the kids can do work together. 10 class periods, with 3 classes going on per period, or 30 classes a day! (Okay, really it's 28, but still!)
I hope this year is a good year for Adam where he feels he's really pulled ahead of Logan. After years of having classes together, he got frustrated thinking either he was 2 grades behind, or his little brother was as smart as he was. This year, he's got some serious classes that Logan won't tackle for at least another 2 years.
My hope for Logan is that he settles down and begins to mature. He's got a Critical Thinking class this year, like a logic class, that I hope will help him learn to think before he speaks - or at least stop saying dumb things that get his father frustrated.
Jordan will have the hardest year of all, I think. She's been pretty lazy the last few years - expecting me to do her work for her, but this year, it's all up to her and she'll have to really try to pass. The tests are standardized and not from me so I can't be objective at all. That'll be a big help. She's smarter than she knows. Maybe this year she'll find that out?
Tim's in the middle of a new job change, in fact he's at an interview right now. We have no idea what the pay will be like, what hours or days he'll work, or any of the many factors we'll have to consider. We just pray for God to guide us to the best choice.
As for me, I can't wait to get started. I feel less rushed this year, yet somehow, a part of me is ready to panic because I'm not rushed, feeling like I must be forgetting something. I think I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things after an almost 10 day vacation.
Here's where I turn it all over to God and pray for wisdom and discernment to make the best choices for all of us. If I do, I know it'll all work out for the best.
Enjoy your day.

Family

Well, we're all back from vacation. We had a great time in Utah, then spent a few days visiting with my husband's family before coming home. We spent time with his parents, grandparents, 2 uncles, an aunt, his cousin and her husband, their 2 kids, their nephew, and another of Tim's cousins. I've known them for years, so it was very comfortable for me, and my kids enjoyed spending time with kids from 2 - 18 that they never get to see. Three of them they met for the first time - all from CA.
I love listening to the stories, the heritage, the ancestors' lives, and seeing who looks like or acts like who else in the family. It made me really miss my own family. My family are in MA, FL, GA, AK, and TX. Next year, one of my sisters is getting married so we'll be together then. I'm looking forward to my kids meeting their cousins (my cousins and their kids).
Now to relate this to my faith...

Just as we get lonely for family, I imagine God too misses us when we aren't "close to Him". I know he's always there, always with us, always watching, but would it be any fun for us if our relatives were there but invisible and silent? It's the conversations together that keep us close, and I'm sure God enjoys that one-on-one time with us too. Today I'm going to try really hard to talk with Him throughout the day - I miss my Father and it's time I planned a visit with Him.

Pre-Vacation Hopes:

Next week we go on our family vacation, although it's more of a business trip for us. We have to be in a weekend long convention Fri night through Sun. afternoon in St. George, Utah, so we're adding a few days before and after, bringing the kids and trying to make it somewhat fun for them. It's been a tough year in sales, especially as a single-income family, so there's no extra money for a real relaxing vacation - so we make due with what we have instead of charging what we can't afford.

We plan on leaving Wednesday to spend a night with Tim's parents and grandparents up in the mountains. We'll leave the next morning for Utah but we're taking the longer route to drive the kids through Zion National Park. (Hope #1: The kids will appreciate our efforts and wonder at what God built, the beauty of something natural, with breathtaking views.)

Once in St. George on Thursday night, we'll relax, enjoy breakfast at the hotel, swim a little, maybe sightsee, and if we're lucky, my daughter and I will get our hair done (it's a birthday gift to her and I need it for the evening's event). (Hope #2: The kids will realize we spent the day with them so they aren't feeling neglected when we're in an all-day seminar on Saturday.) and while we're on the subject, (Hope #3: The kids won't fight or be noisy in the hotel room while we're in the seminar 3 miles down the road Saturday).

Saturday we'll get a break so we can bring the kids some food and check in on them. They've done this before (well, mostly just the boys) so I think they'll be fine. Our oldest is a great sitter.

Sunday morning we'll have breakfast with them and bring them to the worship service at our convention. They always provide one so we don't have to miss a week. The kids know some people there so I think they'll enjoy it.

Sunday afternoon, we'll be back at the hotel by 4:30 and we're spending the night, so we can hang out with the kids by the pool to get them out of the room and into some fresh air. Maybe dinner will be at some nearby cute little place.

Monday morning after breakfast, we don't have to be home until Friday around noontime, so we'll either spend it back at their grandparents' house, or come back home early and do fun stuff in town with them.

(Hope #4: My last and final hope is that we all come back feeling a bit closer and more relaxed.)

I bet God has days like these...

I have such a hard time with my "middle child". He's been a different kid for about the last 6 months. He used to be so loving, so eager to please, so warm and friendly, but lately he's just ANGRY !

I tell him not to do something and he deliberately disobeys - and even preceeds his statements with, "I already know I'm grounded, but it's worth it..." Since when is punishment a choice instead of a consequence of disobedience? Honoring his mother and father has gone out the window these days and I don't really know how to fix it.

Then it hits me - I bet God has days like these. He tells us the family rules and we choose to disobey just about every day. We know we should love others unconditionally, speak only words that build others up, don't touch forbidden things, be a good steward of what we've been given, and not complain about what we don't have. Yet, every day we also break our Father's rules, don't we? At least, I know I do.

As exasperated as I feel after a verbal bout with Middle Child, I bet God also gets frustrated with us. I'm sure He asks Himself why we can't just obey and be thankful for what we DO have.
I think maybe that's why we're given children, to understand our relationship with God in a real way.

So, if it helps me relate to my Father, and understand what He goes through with me, then I guess the learning experience is worth the struggles on the journey.

An Unhurried Life: The Practice of Slowing

I'm currently studying John Ortberg's book The Life You've Always Wanted. Chapter 5 really caught my attention. Just think, to have an Unhurried Life! In 2007 there's so much guilt associated with not hurrying, like if we don't, we're wasting our life and the time we have left. John asked his friend what he needed to do to be spiritually healthy and the answer was one of my favorite quotes, "You must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life."
When I read that I looked up from the book to see if he was somewhere watching me! We become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we don't make time for God, or prayer, or giving thanks, or especially reading His Word. When I'm hurried and distracted, I know the very first thing to go is my time with God, yet if you asked me, I'd tell you it's what's MOST important to me. I think many of us are like that, so what can we do about it?
The answer is to just slow down. Rushing isn't the answer - that just leads to forgetting things, doing a sloppy job, being short-tempered, and sometimes...speeding tickets. With the way we're always rushing, you'd think we'd end up with hours of spare time left over, but do we? No, we never do, so now we're just as busy, still out of time, and we're further from God than we know we should be. So how do we discipline ourselves not to rush?
Like any discipline, it takes practice until it becomes a habit. Step 1 is to practice slowing, we could put ourselves in a position throughout the day that makes us wait - in the longer grocery line, not zigzagging in and out of traffic to pass everyone and be first, to take time to do a job right instead of just fast.
Step 2 is to practice solitude. If it's not part of my day normally, then I'll start with 5 minutes a day. First or Last thing of the day works best. Just take 5 minutes to be still (not easy for my dominating, task-oriented personality). Close your eyes, take a deep breath or two, say hello to God, review your day with Him. Ask for forgiveness where you failed, ask Him to help with your struggles, thank Him for the blessings He's given you, and ask for guidance to do what you should be doing - and to forget about the rest of unnecessary things that aren't in our control anyway.
Try it for a week and see if it makes a difference. I'm going to. I'll let you know how it went.

I love to read.

This summer I've had a very rare blessing - I had 3 weeks with no kids! I filled that time with reading voraciously. I love to read but never get the chance because I usually only have time to read what the kids are reading for school, since I'm the teacher.
I read business how-to books, Sidney Poitier's biography "The Measure of a Man", the latest Francine Rivers book "The Scribe" about the life of Silas, and although the kids are back, I'm trying to devote time every day to continue reading for me - at least until school starts back up in 6 or 7 weeks.
I don't normally like fiction because I hate "romance" stories, I'm just not wired that way, but I absolutely love Scottish fiction stories and will even put up with the romance junk to be able to read about life in Scotland in the late 1700s to late 1800s, especially concerning it's leadership in regards to England.
I'm currently half way through "Kilgannon" by Kathleen Givens. I found her books advertised in a magazine I picked up for the first time called Scottish Life. The library had it, so I got that and the second one in the series "The Wild Rose of Kilgannon". The odd thing is that reading the way the main character, and falls in love with the Scot is opening up a new mindset for me in my faith.
I always hear song lyrics and speakers talking about falling in love with Jesus and I have to tell you, that seems strange and almost irreverent to me. Like it should be a respect for authority thing and not a heart thing. But as I read this book, I see how she's attracted to his thinking, the things he says, the equality he gives her with other men, how his heart longs to please her, always promising that her life will always be as she wishes, (in other words, if there's any major changes it's because SHE wished it, not him making her decisions for her), and especially how he cares for and protects those he loves, as well as those he cares for as chieftan of his MacGannon clan.
As I read this, I begin to wonder if I've been reading the New Testament all wrong. I read non-fiction in most cases, all head - no heart. The same way I probably read about Jesus. Now I wonder how different Jesus would seem if I paid attention to the way he spoke, the things he said, read about his story as if I was picturing myself there like in a fiction novel, noting when he spoke, when he retreated, when he prayed, how he taught, but really focused on how he loved. Granted there wasn't a lot of touching and caressing like in most fiction stories, but isn't a gentle touch on the head while producing healing just as impactful? Wasn't it human-like to need to get away from it all to be alone with his Father? What about the love he still showed for humanity as he was in agony on the cross, hoping death would come soon, yet still asking for their forgiveness with his last breaths? That's dramatic! That's touching! That's captivating! He knew ahead of time what he'd have to endure but he CHOSE to trade his life for our sake, would you do the same? I don't think I could when you really get down to it. I think for the first time I really see what those lyrics and scriptures mean when they call Jesus their "lover" and us his "bride". I think I have some more reading to do.......

A day in the life of me...

I'm enjoying taking the summer off from activities - but I'm already dreading my schedule once the new school year starts. I'm homeschooling an 8th, 6th and 4th grader this year - all at the same time. We'll be working Mon & Wed. - Fri. from 9am til about 2pm. That's 10 classes each, times 3 kids, or 30 classes a day! Why don't we work on Tuesdays? Because that's my weekly Ladies' Bible Study morning, I'm teaching a Co-Op 30 miles away right after that, then my oldest has his drama lessons. The other two will be busy with flag football, ballet and soccer, but on Tuesday afternoons, we'll spend time at the parks and stores near drama class. It'll be that way until Christmas.
I have a friend who's just starting to homeschool this year, her daughter's the same age as mine so we'll add a third girl their age from church and do a monthly writing co-op. I wonder if I take on too much sometimes, and I have my days where my auto-immune disease makes me VERY tired, but it's times like that I have to stop and ask myself what's really important? As busy as I often make my weeks, I also have a goal to change the world. I thought it was only by raising up Godly leaders in my three children, but lately I think it's more likely that I'll expand by one family or one household at a time.
Tim's business he's growing on the internet just may be the forum I (or we) need to help re-educate America. The last 4 years living here have brought us through so many struggles and so many challenges, but we've learned from these experiences and I believe we really can make a difference in helping other people get through what we've gone through. Tim and I shared our deepest secrets and hurts not too long ago with our very closest friends and the first response we got was "someday you're going to share that story in front of a large audience". When I heard our friends say that to us, it's like a light in my heart went on for the first (and last) time - I really want to be able to help others. We just need the opportunity to do that outside of our usual circumstances. I'll just work on preparing my heart, mind and faith in the meantime so that when God brings the opportunity to share, I'll be ready to serve Him.

I thought the well was dry...

I haven't been inspired to write a new devotional in over a year, so I figured the well dried up and figured I'd gotten too far away from God somehow to hear Him. Now He has a new season of life for me. I homeschool my 3 kids and I'm inspired to write a Genesis curriculum for them. Sure I could buy one, but this makes ME dig deeper into it, to get all the excitement out of His Word. When I'm done, I'm going to create an adult version - my Ladies' Bible Study at church has agreed they want to play "guinea pig" when I'm done to test it out, find the errors, and the spots I should expound upon. I'm so excited whenever I get the priviledge of writing ANYTHING that I know is God-inspired. The strange part is that I have absolutely NO desire to work on it without inspiration. I wouldn't have it any other way.