30 Days to Live

What would you do if you had 30 days to live? Would you spend it working overtime? Watching hours of TV after work? Worrying about having the latest, greatest "stuff"? Would you put off making that call to an old friend? Would you spend it on your hobbies with buddies instead of spending it with your family? Would you put off wondering if your afterlife is secure?

How would you finish this sentence to someone you love?:

"What I really want you to know is....."

As for me, if I had 30 days to live, I think I would find a way to get my husband home for those 30 days (without having to go to work). Then we'd play sports with the kids, go camping, work in a trip or two to see my long-distance relatives, and write out what I do so the rest of the family can have things go smoothly once I'm gone.

I'd be very persistent with my loved ones about the seriousness of belief in Christ paying the penalty for their sins so they could have eternal life in God's presence. I'd scrapbook pages and pages for my kids telling them all my favorite moments with them, why each is special to me, my hopes and dreams for them, and what's really important in life. I'd spend every moment possibly with my husband, telling him all the reasons I love and respect him, making sure he understood I have no regrets or unforgiveness or disappointment in him - he's my hero for so many reasons.

I'd teach another relative to run my family's blog so the long-distance relatives can all stay as close as we are now, even closer. I'd throw a big Bon Voyage party for my friends, letting them each know how they individually impacted my life, what I learned from them, and why they're special.

I'd put off laundry, dishes, floors, worrying, and anything else that steals precious time.

I'd make sure the kids had another family to work with so they can finish their homeschool education.

And I might even take time to pet the housecat :-)

What would you do?

Easter Thoughts

Not much to say here, it all went into my diary, But I couldn't let Easter go without saying something.

Remember this weekend what the holiday's all about. Not the candy, the clothes, to egg-hunts...but about a miracle. Jesus rose from the dead, proving all he'd said before that was true. Our sins could now be forgiven by trusting that he paid the price for our sins already. We now have fellowship and are part of God's family. We are Jesus' brothers and sisters now. Don't forget to thank Jesus for his sacrifice and God for providing it while we were still sinners. Celebrate the day, with family, and rejoicing, and hope, and peace, and confidence that there's a God in Heaven who loves you so much, He was willing to die for you.

God Bless and Happy Easter

Beauty from Ashes

This is a copy of my 7th Devotional:

We recently drove home from up North by way of the forest. As I gazed out the window, I was half-listening to a Christian music CD, it hit me ...
The Rodeo-Chedesky fire wiped out every living thing for so many acres, how could it ever be something other than a field of black soot and ash? I was saddened by the stark remains of burned trees stretching up to the sky for as far as the eye could see. Then God gave me an epiphany, my eyes fell to the ground where new green life was again forming a forest, beautiful and hand-planted by the Creator Himself.
My first understanding was the similarities between the forest and our lives. Many of us had to go through an ordeal by fire to find the true nature of God. We had to burn away the "dead wood" so he could prune us back for an amazing time of growth in our future. We left behind some family members, some old friends, some bad habits that made up our comfort zones, and in return, God gave us His light, and living water, so we could grow better and stronger than before. A changed being.
My next phase of understanding brought me to realize that now we're that new life but yet, we still live among the dying or dead spirits. The sadness I felt for the empty, naked trees reminded me of the deeply hurting people we see all around us every day who don't know how to regain strength and life. Only when we, the new creations in Christ, join together can we help the forest to become green again. Only if we allow God to use us to touch others can we stand among the living.

Dear Heavenly Father,
It always amazes us how you use the simplest, everyday things in our life to teach us new lessons. We don't want to be just the few greens on the forest floor. We know you love everyone as your own, even if they don't know or understand that. They need you just as we did and still do. Help us to allow you to prune us back, so we can grow and bring new life to a barren world. Amen

Living Each Day

Recently, a friend's blog posted a video of Randy Pausch during his interview on Oprah. He's a man dying of pancreatic cancer, with just a few months to live. He's a college professor with a wife and three little kids under the age of five. The video highlights a talk he gave as a final exit speech on living. He's not sad, or bitter, or angry about what he's been dealt with because he's always lived his life to the fullest. His speech has been the #1 most downloaded clip off YouTube (at least I think that's what Oprah said). Do a search for him, or read it on my friend's blog at www.orrinwoodward.blogharbor.com - just go down a few entries to the one titled "Randy Pausch". It's about 20 min. long, but it cuts out the commercials. It's SOOOOOO worth your time.

What a great reminder of how we're meant to live. May you be blessed by his inspiration.

You have to give to receive...

Have you ever heard that before? You have to give to receive. I grew up with my grandmother telling me it's better to give than to receive, but not I HAD to give to receive.

Today I called a friend of mine who lives 3000 miles away. Actually, she's more than a friend. She's been my best friend all through childhood, my teen years, and into my adult years until I got married. We've been through everything together, weddings, funerals, ex-everythings, apartments, cars, you name it. Her parents were foster parents, and although I wasn't a ward of the state, I spent many years in and out of their home so they were my foster parents, too.

Anyway, I called her mainly because we try to talk every weekend, but more deeply than that, I needed to call her. She means the world to me, always has, even during the years where we lost touch. (Life happens too fast and time slips away.)

I told her I feel energized when I'm helping others and since I'd been in the house the past few days, I felt useless and bored. Okay, so maybe I said something like, "I live such a boring life!" but you get the idea.

My friend can handle herself and anything else that comes along without me, and do just fine, she's that kind of dynamic person. I'm so proud of the woman she grew up to be. But by just listening to her, hearing her voice, I was able to find a few things to say to encourage her. This really energized me. My whole mood lifted and I felt like I was in a better place when we hung up. I didn't feel good about myself, that's not what this is about...I felt better becuase she was happier. Because I felt God was able to use me to bring laughter to her day where it wasn't there before. I felt I was living my purpose.

With my new feeling of revitalization, I realized how separated I felt when I wasn't fulfilling a purpose - just drifting along through life. I now believe I've reached a new peak, a next step in my journey: I NEED to give (to others)in order to receive (a blessed heart, sense of purpose, fulfillment).

May you be blessed by something here and make it yours.

Seasons of Life

One of the things I've learned over the past few years is that life is made up of seasons, and just like it says in Ecclesiastes 3, there is a time for everything under the sun.

I was recently in a season of simplicity. I fixed my schedule so I'm not too busy anymore. I let go of the things that were simply just "busy" events. I learned that it's okay for me to rest on Sundays (football season helped). I'm okay with sleeping til 8am now, where for almost 40 years I habitually got up between 5:30 and 7:00am - only to crash on the couch by 3 in the afternoon.

My current season is an answer to prayer for direction. I planned on taking off this study. I wondered if the ladies would be better off without my talking, or "a story for everything". I stepped up when the group's last bible scholar left, to fill a need. I wondered if someone else would fill the role if I stepped back. I prayed for wisdom to see if my Tuesdays are already too busy, and if I should take one study off. My answer was an overwhelming NO! The 6 week study was broken out to 12 weeks so it wouldn't be too much homework for me. Ladies asked if I'd be back because they needed to learn from what I allowed God to work and do through me. I know full-well that anything I've given to the ladies is ALL from God. HE is the teacher, I'm merely and humbly just His messenger.

My next season should be exciting. I believe it'll hold moving to a new home, reaching out to new neighbors, especially unchurched teens nearby, starting a tutoring Co-Op Center from my home, and the most exciting thing to me is that I think Tim & I are being called to start a small group from our new home for the new ladies at bible study and their husbands. Of course, we'd open it for anyone, but having a solid connection long enough for God to really move and change in their life is what's needed in most cases - so we'd welcome the singles, dating couples, and married couples. I'm looking forward to it.

Leadership

"Leadership". What does that make you think of when you hear it? Just another buzz word? Control over others? Having others to do things that are "beneath" you? or do you think of Jesus, the greatest king who ever walked the earth, yet served others, drawing people to himself, which gave him influence with them (not manipulation), to therefore change the world!?

I had the unique priviledge yesterday to sit in on a seminar where the speakers are people I know a lot about. I've heard so many of their stories before that they're like part of the family now. The two of them spoke on leadership. Here are just a few of the major highlights:

Don't give up the GREAT for the "good-of-the-day", don't settle.
The only formula for lasting success is Dream + Struggle = Victory.
A leader lifts others up, edifies with respect, and has his/her ego in check.
Don't criticize, condemn or complain; instead, accept, approve and appreciate.
If the person you're telling the story to isn't part of the problem or the solution,
you're just gossiping.
Assume good intent in others.
Minimize the faults of others.
Focus only on what you can control or help change.
When you grow in preparedness, opportunities will find YOU.
Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing - therefore, HAVE a main thing!
Ask yourself the question "What would people say is MY main thing?", and would you be proud of that?
Leaders are life-long learners.
When something bad happens, and you realize everything happens for a reason, ask yourself first, "What can I learn from this?" and second, "What doors open when others are closed?".

I've noticed since following Biblical principles, and taking advice from mentors like the speakers on Saturday, and their business partners - who I actually did get to meet this past summer, I'm beginning to see God bringing new people into my circle of concern. I've got new friends I've just made in the last 6 months or so, and some I will become friends with in the next 6 months. I need to grow and be prepared in case opportunity, namely God, finds me to give them what they need. It may be an uplifting word, a black-and-white solution without emotions to cloud the waters, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to pray for them, or just someone to be there with them through a hard time.

I sometimes feel like Moses when God told him to tell Pharoah to free the Hebrews. I feel like "Who am I? Nobody, and full of flaws". But do I really want God to give that opportunity to someone else because I said "No"? What a blessing I'd miss out on...to bring glory to the One who gives me EVERYTHING!

Leadership? I don't feel worthy...but SIGN ME UP !!!

Where would I be?...

This week in my bible study we had an interesting question: Where would you be if God hadn't stepped into your life? Or changed your life? Or protected you through the years? Wow! What a question...

As for me, I would've spent my life with "victim mentality" because of my childhood. I wouldn't have had my friend Sue's Mom, and my friend Michelle's parents to watch over and guide me to stay on the right path. They showed me what a "home" should look like when my house was falling apart all the time.

I would've joined an ex-boyfriend in doing drugs instead of kicking him and his bad habits to the curb! I'd be bailing him out, hanging out with drug-addicts, thinking it's normal.

I might have ended up pregnant at 16 or 17, quitting school.

I might have allowed another jerk of an ex-boyfriend to steal my self-esteem permanantly.

I wouldn't have had the amazing, wonderful life I have now with Tim. He's been everything to me here on earth since the day we started dating - another God story for another time. But he was SENT to me immediately after I called to God on my knees for a better life, the one He had for me all along.

I wouldn't have the deep friendships and support I have now.

And maybe worst of all...I'd still be shoveling snow, freezing in New England!

Kicked Out of the Nest

Recently the small bible study group I've belonged to has had a time of restructuring. Two of our former leaders and dearest couples have had to step out of group, to follow what God's telling them is a priority right now. That's left the two of us wondering what it is we should be doing. Should we continue to meet with the remaining members? Do something with just one other couple from the group? Do something that just me and my husband start? So many questions, but really, just one answer. Let me explain.

I feel like it's a time to get kicked out of the nest. I joined this group back in early spring 2005.
I was in a weird place. I was trying to grow, had some stuff at home to deal with, was trying to let go of my bad childhood, be real and honest, and become a woman of God without the phony, showy personna.

This group has been together through trials, tragedies, fears, feelings of hopelessness, and defeats. But we've also been together through victories, joys, healings, newfound hope, direction, and celebrations. We were together when we needed each other. And now it's time for us to begin new projects to help other people.

Although we may not have all the answers to our questions, the answer is the same. It's time for us to create a place, or several places, for new believers to come during their trials, defeats, and fears - to be lifted up, brought before the throne of the Almighty, and learn what they need to then pay it forward for others in the future.

Small Victories

I attended a seminar on Saturday and one of the speakers' main points was to experience small victories, which will help you achieve your big goals in the future. I asked myself, "How can I apply this to my faith?" Here's a few suggestions:

1. Reading God's word - I want to read the entire bible eventually. I started a reading program where I read 1 chapter a day. If that's too big, read 1 Proverb daily, every day, for a whole month. A small victory now will mean more confidence to reach the next biggest goal in the future.

2. Praying daily - I want to take time to pray for my friends and family every day but the list is so long, it seems too time consuming. I decided to pick say, 5 friends and 3 family members to pray each day. By the end of the week, I'll have prayed for all of them, and the most important ones, I'll do more than once. That's more than I get around to praying for now, right?

3. Using my spiritual gifts and talents - I want to use them for the benefit of OTHERS. If I know they're telling right from wrong, encouragement, and teaching, I could use them to increase the quality of my homeschooling with my kids. I could offer to lead the next bible study or small group at church. I could open up to neighbors, or friends I'm not that close too yet, or take time to help out a relative I haven't yet.

Start each day asking what things I want to accomplish TODAY. Taking it one day at a time will get us further at the end of a week, a month, or a year, than not planning at all.

Life is Hard

You know, I used to tell people I'd pray for them because it was kind of a short list. Now it's such a long list that it takes a long time to get through it now. I wonder if it's just because I have more friends, or if it's just that life is getting harder. The bible says at the end of times it'll be like birthing pains. To me, that sounds like it builds and builds, getting more and more painful. This HAS to be it, right?

In one week, I could easily find myself praying for 50 people! Financial hardship, marital problems, a dying, unsaved relative, a friend in a major accident, the loss of a loved one, a job lost, addictions, abuse, the list goes on and on.

What can we do about it? As followers of Christ it's up to us to stand in the gap between God and the evils of this world. It's time we come together in prayer to make a real difference in the world. It's time we voted for the candidate that we believe obeys God's laws, not just the one promising the best free ride (and NOT the one who looks the best!).

God's word says He's present wherever 2 or more are gathered in His name. So it's time to gather, to pray, to fight the battle you can't see, the wage war against the enemy who orchestrates temptations, poor choices, hardships and mistreatment of others. Let's stand up for those who can't stand alone.

Let's take back our holy ground! We've been empowered in the name of Jesus. We CAN tell the enemy to flee, bind him from interfering, so let's do all we can - grab your armor and swords! - the world needs prayer warriors!

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition

Have you ever watched the show? I've heard so many criticisms of the show but you know what? How is it a bad thing to help a deserving family live in a safer home and maybe pay off some of their bills? My heart just breaks for almost every family they show. They go through losing family members, major accidents and traumas, been devastated by life or choices of another that they had no control over, or are in the process of healing knowing they have a very real possibility of dying in the near future.

How I wish I had the ability to step into someone's life and change their world for the better. After all, isn't that what Jesus did for those he met? To step in and make a way out of circumstances, to bring light into a dark situation, that's the adventure I'd love to be on.

Extreme Makeover: Spiritual Edition?

What's Holding You Back?

I'm reading Captivating by Stasi Eldridge and came upon a part in the book that really made me think. She talks about how words, whether ours or others, can hold us back, or keep us paralyzed for years. Many of us had rough childhoods, or a bad relationship, or never got the affirmation we should have growing up. We either had someone tell us we weren't good enough, or strong enough, or grown-up enough, or they declared that we had a major weakness. For others of us, we were under a controlling person for years and we vowed to never let anyone else do that again (and we end up being controlling ourselves), or that we'd be the best (overachiever), you know what I mean, right?

Words are powerful. What we, or others, tell our brain - it believes us - good or bad. If we agree with the derrogatory statements others put on us, or we tell our brains how "it's going to be from now own" or "never again", it will do whatever it takes to support that.

Now, not only did my book talk about this, but also I caught Beth Moore on TV yesterday talking about the same thing. She mentioned being paralyzed by the enemy because of our believing lies.

To further confirm this, I also recently found a friend dealing with the same thing.

Here's what you need to do to move forward, to stop letting words hold you back anymore:

Renounce this "curse" in the name of Jesus. Demand that the enemy has no power in this area any longer. Ask God to come in and remove those words. Give Him free reign in all areas that have been touched by this. In the name of Jesus, pray His blood over your life for protection and healing.

Then give God praise and thanks and hold on for the exciting, wonderful future and the plans he has for you (Jeremiah 29:11).

Prayer for the New Year

Dear Heavenly Father, as I look back on this past year, I see so many times where you revealed yourself, protected me and my loved ones, kept your promises, and provided for my needs.
I know you are the Alpha and the Omega, so not only are you the One who Begins a good work in me, but You also are the One who wishes to finish a good work in me. Lord, I pray if I've kept you out of any area of my life, or if my selfish desires have stood in the way of your will, I now give you permission to enter, grow and change all areas of my life, in order for you to complete the good work you started in me.
Father, I pray for patience while waiting for you to answer my prayers and your plans to be revealed. I pray for a more sensitive heart, that I would feel pity, and grace, and forgiveness towards others in the coming year. I also ask for your provision on my household. You are a father who knows how to give good gifts to your children. I thank you that through Jesus' sacrifice, I am now counted among your children. I ask you to provide for my material needs in order that I would not be distracted by them, and can focus on trust and peace in you, instead. I pray that you'd help me to use the gifts, abilities and talents you've given me in the new year for your glory and to lift up the body of believers, as well as reach out to those who maybe haven't learned to follow Christ yet.
Bless the work of my hands, the words of my mouth, and the thoughts I have. May they learn to be under your authority for both my benefit and your glory.
I end this prayer with thanks and praise and worship and honor to you Heavenly Father. Thank you for all you've already done, and for allowing me the opportunity to present my requests to you, and to have the confidence to entrust it all to you in the New Year.
In Jesus Name,
Amen.

Christmas Miracle Number Two!!!

The same night our "Christmas Angel" came anonymously, my husband also returned home with unbelievable news: two of the older women at his work had already gone out and bought gifts for our family! They didn't do it for everyone, and there's no reason they should've picked us, but they did. I can only guess that God called them to do this and they responded to His nudgings.

They bought our family toys, sports balls, grocery gift cards, cash gift cards, gifts for our home, and even an old-fashioned curved walking stick like pictures of St. Nick's from an earlier era, complete with a red ribbon and jingle bells on it.

I can never say enough how much God provides, and He rewards our efforts, and He cares about our desires - in many cases, He put them there.

So as we enter the New Year, just remember to trust Him for all your needs, trust Him with your family, your provision, your safety, your health and your heart. He loves you like no other!

God Bless You.

A Christmas Angel - Miracles DO still happen!

(Dec.23rd): Just yesterday I was thinking, "how are we going to pay the mortgage, and the kids need clothes, and it's going to be our smallest Christmas ever." But, I'm always the first to stand up in front of a crowd and tell them not to worry about financial hardship - God will provide, somehow.

Money really DOES fall from the sky when God's involved, and others allow Him to speak through them. Here's what happened:

It was about 6:30 pm (give or take) Sunday night. There was a loud knock at our metal screen door. I was sitting right by the door, so I was there to open the door within 2 or 3 seconds. No one was there. I went to turn on our motion-sensitive light, but it wasn't working. I went to open the screen door and noticed there were 2 packages on the ground with our family's name on them, and an envelope. I thought, "how nice, someone thought of us" and I opened the card hoping it was a letter signed by the generous giver. I opened the envelope and in it was $500 in cash and a $500 gift card from Target!!! I couldn't believe it! I ran to the patio to look for a person, or car leaving, or something - but no one was there. It was in less than 60 seconds! I went in the patio door and by the time I got in the house, my husband came home in the front door. I asked him if he saw anyone out there and he said there was no one out there. We won't open the gifts til it's time, but I believe if God blesses you, you give Him all the credit. So I'm doing that with this entry (and we both emailed everyone on our email lists), and if you happen to know who may have had a part in this, please, pass on our thanks, and our love, and our true, true appreciation for such a remarkable and timely gift. We now can pay our mortgage, get the things we need, and our kids will have a great Christmas. We love all of you.

May you be blessed and encouraged by this,

Captivating

A few years ago I went through the book and workbook called Captivating by Stasi (and husband John) Eldridge. It's the "hers" book that compliments Wild at Heart for "him".
I first went through it right after a major heartache - and it definitely shows in my answers in the workbook.

I'd like to think I'm older and wiser now, closer to God than before, more aware of all He created me to be. Still, I find myself re-living the same hurt feelings as I read through the book, but at least now, the feelings seem more distant. Last time, they were raw, exposed.

I think I'm gearing up for another challenge, a positive change, an opportunity to be great by God's power and direction - if He so chooses. I plan on being a good listener, student and willing to follow Him to the ends of the earth, if need be.

I need to be swept up in an adventure. My life has seemed so boring for the last few years. I'm ready for whatever God has planned because it's HIS plan, and according to Jeremiah 29:11, He knows the plans he has for me, not plans to harm me, but plans to prosper me. In His Name I trust.

Blue Like Jazz

I just finished reading a book my dear friend loaned to me. It's called Blue Like Jazz, and it's written by Donald Miller. What a great book! It's about a regular guy, living his life, trying to figure out what Christianity is. He knows it's supposed to be different from "religion", he tries to figure out what God wants from us, what our role is, and who Jesus is.

The book reads quick - even with my busy schedule I was done in just a few days. It's written like diary or journal entries, so no section is too long, great if you only have a few minutes here and there to read.

I "get" what Christianity is, I know I'm saved, I understand what it means to be a Christ-follower, I feel that God the Father is 100% my "Dad", in every way possible. I appreciate His gift of Jesus, I appreciate the sacrifice Jesus made for us, I understand what an atoning sacrifice is, but I still struggle with what type of relationship I'm supposed to have with Jesus. Let me explain:

If God is my father and he says not to pray to anyone but him, why do so many Christians pray to Jesus directly? I feel like it's wrong when I do it. I pray to God, but ask through Jesus, in Jesus' name, not on my own merit or right. I see Jesus as a mentor, and a friend, but I really long for the romance, the falling in love with Jesus that I hear and sing about. I long for the passion of who Jesus is, and how deep his love for me really is, to sink in. I want that heart-stirring emotion.

I live my life very logically, with very little emotion, everything in black & white - so I'd like my Spiritual life to be so much more.

Recipe for Man-made Manna

Hi, this obviously won't be miraculous or probably taste like "the bread of angels", but what a great opportunity to explain to our kids, grandkids, spouses, family or friends about God's provision?

Man-Made Manna Recipe:

225 gr. cake quality matzo flour, sifted
2 tsp. dried coriander leaves
1/2 C boiling water
1 T. sesame oil (plus extra to brush on)
2 T. honey

1. Resift the flour with the coriander. Place mixture in a bowl and make a well in the center. Into this pour 1/2 cup boiling water and the sesame oil. Mix into a dough and knead until smooth and elastic. Divide into 12 portions.

2. Roll first portion into a 10 cm circle and brush with a little sesame oil. Roll out 2nd portion and cover the 1st. Roll both portions out again to make a 15 cm "sandwich". Continue to do this with each portion so you end up with 6 "sandwiches" rolled out.

3. Heat a heavy skillet without oil on medium, and fry the pancake-like sandwiches one at a time, turning once to both sides are cooked. (*Important: keep skillet moving, like making old-fashioned popcorn, so it doesn't stick.)

4. When all are cooked, separate each sandwich back into 12 portions. Spread each pancake with a little bit of honey and fold in half, then half again making a wedge. Serve immediately.

Finding My Purpose

For the last two or three weeks I've been struggling with something. I've known for a long time that I'm supposed to be on "an adventure" of sorts, a quest, a mission, a purpose. Although I know I'm getting closer to that purpose every day, and I know I'm on the right path, I still feel there's something MORE I'm supposed to be doing.

I've also noticed recently that I've become a counselor of sorts to other Christians on their journey. I know my Spiritual Gifts are Encouragement, Teaching, and Discernment, so I know that's kind of how they all come together, but when I made the realization that being a helper for others to stay on the path, or to choose between two seemingly good paths, I got cold feet.

I've been helping friends and family this way for years, but now I see it in a different light. It's no longer just a casual, "Let me tell you what I'd do based on what the Bible says and my experience..." Now I feel the responsibility that I have to be God's voice in the matter. I feel like Moses willing to serve a mighty God, but scared that I'll mess up. All kinds of doubts came to mind: what if I'm wrong? do I really know ALL the bible says on that subject? what if I can't help them? how do I know what's right if I never dealt with that problem before? and so many more!

Then God spoke to me through 2 friends and a dream.

The two friends, at different times, in different circumstances said that we can be used in our weaknesses because that's where he can prove how strong He is. And all will know He can do and speak and help, in SPITE of me and my faults.

I've also been dreaming for 20 years of being back in school. It happens almost every week it seems. I'm always either late for class, or can't find my schedule, or can't remember my locker combination, but I'm so eager to be in class as a student. Sometimes the people there are current friends, sometimes they're from high school, sometimes they're strangers. A few nights ago, the dream changed. I was running late for work because I got out of class late and I said to the 2 or 3 people there, "I can't keep going to school AND work, it's just not working." Then one of the people said, "Why are you still here going to classes? How long ago did you get your diploma and graduate?" In the dream I went to answer that it'd been about 5, no wait, 10, 15? Oh my gosh! it'd been 20 years and I was still hanging around the school halls. The realization hit me IN MY DREAM that it was time to stop trying to hide by being in the the safe role of a student. It was time to enter the bigger world (work) and become the teacher. When I woke up, I immediately knew what it meant. I'd been hiding for years worried I wasn't good enough (must be that Type A, overachiever personality). It's time to step out in faith and trust God to give me the students, the wisdom, the discernment and the encouragement to help His children. I have a new peace about it. Instead of being stressed over the demands on me, I welcome the chance to serve God...and now those precious souls seeking answers are coming to me almost daily for advice. In His Service, I humbly accept my role, and my purpose.