The last year has been really hard, but finally I've had a breakthrough. I'm sure I covered it all in previous posts, but the new part of the equation is Boundaries. I seeked counsel from someone I trust for Godly advice, and he's far enough from knowing me that he could still be objective if I was off base. He suggested a few things to help me heal and move forward, but also he suggested I read a book titled "Boundaries in Marriage".
This is a great book. It's not about putting up walls to shut others out, it's not about being stubborn about your own opinions, and it's not about setting boundaries to fix nor control others. It's simply a book about setting my own boundaries on my own actions, attitudes, behaviors, choices, actions, and reactions. The surprising thing is that instead of barriers to make me feel more confined, I'm finding that this is God's design, especially in marriage (which mine is better than most already), and I'm finding more freedom than I ever have before.
I'm still learning, and I have to check my true, deep-down motives before I set up a boundary - but I'm getting the hang of it. It's been very freeing and I think it'll be good for my husband too. It'll give him freedom to choose how he interacts without me without feeling like he picked the "wrong" choice, or feel guilty. Just as I'm in charge of myself, he'll be in control of himself, and we both can find freedom to choose the things we truly have charge over.
Last week, I was able to decide where I'm headed, and that I won't stop til I get there. I can once again aim for the center of God's will for my life. It may be a different place than it was the last time I found myself there. It may look strange compared to last time. But I CAN find it again and live my life intentionally, on purpose, free to pursue all God created me to be, serving where HE dictates. And now, nothing will be able to take it away from me.
For that, I thank my mentor in this situation, and I praise God for His wisdom and design for His children. And that He makes His will for my life known to me - then provides the help I need to get there.
I'm truly blessed...and I am FREE !!!!!
