Statistics show 1 in 2 will be diagnosed with cancer in our lifetime.

This week has been so trying. I found out Thursday that my grandmother is dying. She's 86 and lived like the poster child for Prevention magazine. As long as I can remember, she lived to tell others about vitamins, all natural foods, using natural products - including toothpaste and soap! She's got cancer in her uterus, lymph nodes, adrenal glands, kidneys and liver. How can this be?

The same night, I found out my aunt on the other side of the family has been diagnosed with cancer this year and is on chemo shots for it. No one told me in all these months. I understand she wants to keep it a secret, but I want to know! I want time to pray for her. Time to talk with her, or write to her. Maybe even time to see her. I want time to ask God to heal her. Please, don't take that away by keeping it a secret if that happens to you.

I also heard 2 other relatives either have cancer, or are under a physician's care for pre-cancerous cells to be treated. This is crazy!

I lost an Uncle and an Aunt to cancer already, and they were both so young! Early 50s! That's only 10 years from now for me! What chance do I have? What's my mother got that I don't know about? What about my kids? So many questions...so many worries...and I'm 3000 miles away from them.

Please pray.

Taking a break?

There apparently will be a pause between the last series and the next one, which I hope will be on Spiritual Gifts. I only write devotionals when inspired, it's too hard to force them on my own, and right now I guess I'm not in the right place to write.

Nothing's wrong necessarily, we're just at a career crossroads with Tim and have some major decisions to make. I don't want to take a single step unless I know it's on the path God has chosen for us. Here's the visual I get:

We're standing at the crossroads, there's about 5 paths we can choose from, but we have no idea where they'll lead, how hard/easy they'll be, nor which one will take us where we want to go. God is on the corner selling "FREE MAPS!!!" if we'll just ask Him. He knows where every road leads, what it looks like, where it goes, leads and ends. Yet, because we're afraid He'll suggest what we don't want to do, we say, "No thank you, I don't need a map, we'll just pick...this road." What is it with men and asking directions? Seriously, we all do it at times, not just the guys.

Anyway, I haven't been able to sleep more than a 3 hour block in over 2 months now, the stress has me on edge, I'm having physical problems from it. I would ask that if you're reading this, please pray for our family. Please ask God to reveal what really has to happen, what path we must take, to close all other possibilities so Tim has to choose the right thing to do, so I can sleep normally again, and our family can stop this holding pattern we've been in for so long. I'm not sure how much more I can endure, and I know he needs answers, the right ones. Thank you.