I'm in a holding pattern of sorts right now. I know I'll be launching into some great new stuff heading into fall, like being in, if not facilitating, a small group Bible Study.
But for right now, I'm in the preparation stages. I know, I've been here before. I'm at a new stage of learning who God is, where Jesus is in all this, and to renew my heart and mind before I begin the tasks I've been assigned. Part of this preparation includes a great book my friend Pam let me borrow. I have no idea what she thought I was asking for when I thought I was asking for suggestions regarding a certain topic of study for my homeschoolers - but as usual - God worked through Pam to get me what I needed. This book is called Calming My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I'm only half-way through it, but it's already making internal changes in me that I know I need before undertaking projects in this new chapter of my spiritual walk. Some of the topics include contentment where you're at, striving for heavenly, not earthly treasures, appreciating what you have, forgiveness, growing relationships, and more.
I think it's amazing how God can use someone who came from such a messed up background like I had. And it feels very reassuring to know that he finds ways to help me prepare for the assignments He gives me. I'm not confident in what I can do, but I'm very confident in what God can do, if I just remain open to His direction, trust His leading, and stay out of my own way (with fears and insecurities). He's allowed me to witness miracles, changed lives, and things that the word "coincidence" couldn't BEGIN to describe!
I may not know the whole plan, but I do know this: God has a plan. It's going to be for the best. And I'm happy to get to be a part of it, even if it's just one step at a time.
