Since the switch...

We made a decision about a week ago to return to our old church. My earlier posts from last year reveal just how devastated leaving was for me and how strongly I believed it was the wrong move - but I'm called to submit to Tim's leading for our household, and I believe it did help him grow in the mean time where maybe he wouldn't have without the change. Anyway, I firmly believe(d) that if we returned, so would God's blessings, something I've felt was removed for over a year and a half now since we left.

In just the past week, here's a list of blessings we've received:

-Tim was on a dry spell, not selling anything. He sold something the day we decided to go back to our old church.

- I ended up picking up extra shifts at work to help us provide a Christmas for our kids and to get last month's mortgage paid.

- Tim and I were able to discuss some things in our relationship that need changing and it was done in love, with understanding, and in agreement to work on them.

- I earned double what I expected on my extra shift this week.

- Tim and Adam haven't had a fight over anything since the decision was made. Adam's been more helpful, more respectful, and has restrained his attitudes. He's finally coming out of his dark funk of depression he's chosen to stay in for almost a year.

- People in our business are giving us more positive responses, people on our team are doing tastings without us now - we all just need to stay more consistent for results to kick in.

- I "found" an extra $70 in the checkbook I didn't realize we had.

- Something I wanted to get someone for a gift was too expensive, but they needed it, and I managed to be at the right place at the right time to find it for literally, ONE-FIFTH of its normal price.

- The joy and peace I've lived without for a year and a half has returned in full force!

- Lots of my stress-induced aches, pains and conditions are declining and/or have disappeared.

All this within a week or so of making the right decision to go where God wills us to be, for HIS purposes, to help others with gifts He's given us to build up His people.

Praise God for his mercy, forgiveness, love and elaborate giving. You can't out-give God!

What a Mighty God We Serve

Here I was all concerned about dealing with past issues...worried about being told "it's in the past, just let it go". God stepped in and created a safe environment to voice my thoughts, apologize for my own shortcomings and mistakes, and express my intent for a better future in certain relationships.

God protected the situation, kept things peaceful, gave me strength, softened the other people's hearts, and made it a positive outcome with His blessings.

What a mighty God we serve!

Dealing with the Past

What a week it's been. I've had lots of good things happen, I feel great new changes beginning to point me in the right direction, I'm finally on the right path again. However, I believe for this leg of my journey I'm going to have to deal with some stuff from the past.

We usually tend to keep things in, stuff them down, and hope they go away. Why do we all think that will work? Is it because we think we're "strong enough" to handle doing that? Is it something we were taught growing up? Is it our coping mechanism? Why don't we handle issues as they come, then move forward in a positive way? I know why...it's hard.

Jesus said if you're about to give your gift at the altar and remember there's something not right between you and your brother (or friend, or spouse, or sibling, or parent, etc.), then put down your offering, make amends, then return to give your best to God.

Doesn't it make more sense His way? When we hold onto past hurts, it does affect us, whether we'd like to admit it or not. We end up holding back our best from that person, or letting anger/hurt/resentment bother us when we're alone, or in the middle of the night. It affects our perception of the other person's motives. And we end up in worse shape than if we'd just handled it - good or bad. At least then it'd be over with, and you could put it behind you.

I'm finding I've got a few things that I need to fix. I know some of them are things I've said or done to others. (Believe me, the guilt on those is practically non-stop.) But a few are hurts I've encountered at the hands of others, too. I'm ready to be the best I can be, and do all I can to fix the future by dealing with the past. I don't have anger or hatred toward anyone at this point in my life. I've forgiven it all. I'm just ready to be useful to God and to do that, I believe I have to have a heart without resentment, or bad memories between others and myself.

With God's leading, and the love of Jesus, I know this too will be accomplished.