Standing in the Doorway

I've spent the last week contemplating this strange feeling I have inside. I can only describe it as "standing in the doorway." I'm not sure exactly where the door leads. It's like I'm in the doorjamb and one side of the door opens to a wonderful, new, exciting season of growth for our church and congregation. We've been through a lot lately, including seeking God's will for a new lead pastor. Those in charge are trying very hard to make the most God-honoring decisions possible moving forward. The other side of this door leads to the judgement on America for leaving its Godly heritage, mocking God, and as in the Tower of Babel, our country has decided to be its own god. Anything immoral, unnatural, self-serving, shocking, and even "the unthinkable" has become not just accepted but embraced. Reading the book The Harbinger by Jonathan Cahn was a real eye-opener, but this isn't about the book in particular. I think the hardest thing right now is knowing which side of the door I should be facing. Am I to step into the church growth side, shut the door behind me, and withdraw from the world? Should I step into the judgement side and do all I can as a one-person "nobody in particular" to pray, and shout out for the country to repent? Repent. The last few generations don't even know what that word means. It's not in their vocabulary and I know it wasn't in their educational upbringing. Is it too late to save our country? Or are the things going on warnings because God is merciful and is willing to give us yet another chance to return to Him? Or again, should I just focus on my church and help it to be the light on the hill in a dark world? Maybe it's too late to turn our country around but can I be used by God to help heal those hurt in the wake of these illogical, cruel decisions being made, especially by our government, that are threatening those of us who call God our Father? I don't know which way to turn, but I know I can't stand in this doorway forever. I realize the church side of the door may actually be much bigger than I can see from that vantage point. Maybe it's a call to grow "THE" church, not just my own? Maybe it's to help those in my circle of influence to grow into Spiritual warriors, then together we can begin a revival. Our country sure needs another Great Awakening. But is it really too late? We know have a voting culture that grew up without a definitive right/wrong, without absolutes when it comes to convictions and beliefs. It grew up believing anything and everything is acceptable. There's no accountability for anyone's actions anymore - just blame. Save the trees and whales but murdering children for convenient birth control is acceptable. The government that should be protecting us agrees to allow companies to poison our food supply and an out-of-control rate, while penalizing those trying to grow organic foods of their own. There is no sanctity of life, of marriage, of anything. I see so many people on Facebook posting about animal abuse, yet abortion is called "choice"? I don't know which way I'm supposed to step out of this door frame, but I know I can't stay here forever. I need to decide soon. I'm just waiting for guidance. I probably haven't explained it well in words, but it's a sick feeling that's got me up at night, dizzy with thoughts during the day, and it's starting to really affect my health and well-being. It's hard to describe a feeling, or intuition, or hunch, or whatever you want to call it. Whatever this is - it needs resolution and soon.